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Curlswirl 04-21-2012 03:40 PM

Fathers who criticize their daughter's hair...
When I was only 4 years old my father made it clear he hated my curls and their unruliness. He even complained to the neighbors in front of me and called my hair insulting names. He also hated my mother's curls and told her he wouldn't marry her unless she straightened her hair. My brother internalized these negative messages and was also critical of my curls! I am now in my 40s and still trying to be okay with my curls but even the media bashes them or underrepresents them. Has anyone here been through this type of criticism and developed a positive view of their curls? If you did, please tell your story...

rapunzel4ever 04-21-2012 04:31 PM

My family was never supportive of my hair, even before I knew it was wavy. They called it unruly and unkempt when I was young. Until recently (I cut my hair from tailbone to BSL) they said it was too long and too dark (it is golden blond, so why not bleach it? Uh, because I think it looks beautiful and healthy!)
When I wore my hair up or in a braid, they said: why not wear it loose? Now, I wear it loose most of the time, they say: oh a braid is so in fashion nowadays, why not...
When I wear my hair straight they say how thin it looks and now I am wearing my hair curly it has more volume, but they insist that straight looks better!?!

I love my hair and always have. But I never paid much attention to what my family says about it, I always wonder though how hair can be such a big issue for many people. Luckily I've got a lot of compliments from other people on my hair my whole life, so I know there is nothing to be insecure about. But it would be nice if things were different.

sarahbelle88 04-22-2012 12:19 PM

This is so sad. I've been relaxing for over 10 years and just started transitioning. Even in my relaxed hair I always wanted curls and envied other girls with curly hair. I can't imaging anyone criticizing it! Curly hair is beautiful. Most girls with straight hair can't hold curls for more than a few hours. You have the best of both worlds.

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