hurtful comments people've made about your hair

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Hi. I had hair down to the middle of my back, but I have to wear it up all the time (military). So, no one at work ever saw my real hair, just my hair pulled into a frizzy bun. I got my hair cut recently so that I could wear it down at work. Most people seemed to like it and said that my hair looked really good. I think a lot of people thought I had a perm or something, so I had to tell them, nope, this is my hair! My boss took one look at me and asked, "What happened to your hair?!". I said nothing happened, this is my hair, I just got it cut. He said, "interesting" and walked off. I was annoyed! But, he's bald, so maybe he is just jealous. So, my hair is short, but big and not "military" enough I guess. Well, I spent 15 years with my hair up in a bun. Now, my hair is down and curly. Get used to it! I follow the rules, but my hair just doesn't like to sometimes!
yes yes yes yes yes. I get this all the time. Some boys in 6th grade nicknamed me after some shrub my hair used to resemble. (I never saw it)
Hair Type: 2c/3a/3b
Products: Redken ringlet 07, It works perfectly! a match made in heaven

I LOVE being curly!
OMG--Unfortunately, I have gotten a ton. Soooo many hurtful, ignorant ones that my husband didn't even know I had curly hair til 10 years into our marriage! (I'm 39)

In fact, HE was the one who finally convinced me to wear my hair curly!

I remember being called "the girl w/ pubic hair on her head" in middle school, Medusa, Woodstock (this one always confused me--still don't get it--is it cuz I look like the bird or a 70's hippie chick??), Puffball (this was by my ex-sister-in-law.

While following me in a car to a wedding, my own sister-in-law said she easily found my car because she could see "Puffball" behind the wheel.

That hurt!
Originally Posted by tooj68
I got called these exact same things in school!! In elementary and middle school i was the only girl with curly hair. when i got to high school there was about three or four others with curly hair in a school of 700 people! i hate when people tell me that my hair looks better straight cause basically they are telling you that your natural state of your hair isnt nice or good enough. just today some guy told me that my hair looked like i was stuck in the 90's and maybe i should see a new hair stylist... horrible. i didnt tell him that he could probabably stand to lose twenty pounds and wash his face!
i only have wavy hair, and i also think most people here (in austria) envy people with curly hair and don't insult them so much, so i never got insulted like this.

anyhoo, i had a girl in junior high and she had very frizzy hair. i bet she had great curly hair but killed it by brushing it. anyway, some people in school always called her broom and stuff... BUT we had other curly people in school, but this girl was just weird, i think they would've called her anything just because they didn't like her... doesn't make it better, of course.

anyway, i'm just shocked what people said to some of you O_O
Man I have come to dread going to visit my grandparents just becuase I know my grandma is going to have something to say about my natural hair. So I visited her this past weekend becuase she was in the hospital and it was worse than usual becuase she had nothing to do but spew venom from her bed.

I swear she is like something out of a textbook when it comes to good hair and the light skin complex. That whole family. She doesn't even hear how she sounds.

. Now remember this whole time I am sitting there with my afro. So I guess she realized her direct attempts to get me to relax my hair weren't working (giving me the number to her hairstylist so she can make my hair nice and silky) and telling me how nappy my hair looks. No, she has now resorted to bashing other people's nappy hair in front of me like I won't get the connection. Awkward. "I was walking down the street one time and I saw this little girl. I don't know what her momma was doing to her hair becuase that girl had some bad hair."

"So and so came in to visit me. Her hair was looking real nice and pretty. She said all she does is conditioned it. Have you tried conditioning it?"

"You remember Pumpkin right? You two used to play together as kids. She's dark skinned but she got some pretty hair down to her shoulders. So long and shiny. She keeps it permed up." Actually that statement got me to thinking. I had always thought you had to be born with "good hair" but apparently permed hair is good hair too. If you don't got it, buy it. As long as you don't have the audacity to show that nappy mess.

Even though I see so clearly the issues she has and where they came from and KNOW that my hair looks cute but she will never be able to see that becuase of her hangups-- it still can be hurtful and make me doubt myself. I wonder after these visits if my hair really is dry and damaged. But then I realize that she doesn't realize my hair type isn't supposed to shine and she thinks healthy hair shines. You just gotta hang in there, especially with people of an older generation who have been taught all their life that straight is beautiful and being black and anything connected with being black is ugly.
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Last edited by KinkyKeeper; 04-15-2009 at 08:46 PM.
Q-tip...I think that was my favorite word used to describe me when I had short hair...

Loving JC and CK products... Been loving them for 3 years...looking to branch out and try new things!!!
I got called a poodle by a girl back in school.
& a few months ago I can remember a girl saying that my hair really annoyed her..I really don't know why hair can annoy someone?

Anyway, it hurt at the time, but I've gotten over it. I try not to listen to negative comments anymore
That was so mean of them to say that! Your hair doesn't just your personality and who says you should change it just so they like it?!?!

I don't get much but when I was young I HATED my curls and I would do anything to get them straight. Once I went to school after using a straightening cream and shampoo and I brushed and brushed and brushed the life out of it, then I tied it up. When I got to school the first thing my friend said was 'Omg, your hair is SO curly today! It's like spirals... like pasta!' GRRRR, all that work for NOTHING. I was literally crying when I brushed my hair cause it hurt so bad.
I guess it's easier and more effective to look after your natural texture and work with your curls. Now people actually deny that mine are natural, but do they seriously think that I spend a whole day curling every piece of hair just so it can be frizzy and crazy?!?
~ BIG *sexy* CURLS ~
Conditioner/Co-wash/Leave-in: Garnier Fructis Nutri Repair/Organic Instinct
Styler: Garnier Fructis 24-H

Reading some of these stories makes me sad. I don't think very many people actually came out and told me my hair was ugly when I was younger, but I definitely have received my share of uninspired insults from typical *******es.

Mainly, I got it into my head that my hair was somehow unacceptable because my parents always said so. (My dad always chided me to tie my hair back because I looked like an animal, while my mother brushed the hell out of my hair and even hacked it off at times to make it more manageable.) Most of my classmates actually loved my hair, and I got lots of compliments. But if your own parents think you're ugly (and that's real self-loathing, since they're both curly heads), that messes you up on a pretty deep level, methinks.
Fine, porous 3a with some 3b...
Co-wash: Suave Tropicals Coconut Conditioner (with shampoo bars 2x a month) Rinse-out: L'oreal Vive Pro Nutri Gloss Leave-in: Lustrasilk Styling: CK, Pink Boots, KCCC, AOMM, HESMU, BRHG, CJ Aloe Fix Gel Post-Styling: Apply product to wet hair, scrunch out water with Curls Like Us, diffuse for 5-7 minutes Treatments: Vatika coconut oil, Kama Brahmi oil
I've only recently become curly and only in the last week have been emphasizing it, but I've heard "When my wife looks like that, it's a hair'UNdo'!" and been told my hair "looks messy," but "in a good way."
I've gotten most of the usual comments, that my hair needs to be "controlled" "managed" "straightened" "thinned" it's a "mess" "bush" "brillo" "mop" but here's one I particularly remember:

I had just started college and was walking through the dorm lobby and this guy yelled "Hey Zulu head, how about a comb, or in your case, a rake." I'm white and I registered on some level that it was racist as well as just plain horrible but I couldn't think of a thing to say. Everybody turned and stared and all these guys started hooting and pointing and cracking jokes and laughing at me.

However, a couple of years later I did some modeling and got caught in the rain on my way to a show. My straightened hair was a tangled halo of frizz and curls by the time I reached the show. I was embarrassed and apologized to the designer but to my surprise he said that I looked gorgeous, just like a Botticelli painting and that I should always let me hair go curly! So I walked the runway proudly in evening gowns with my hair in full out wild, curly mode.
I really don't know if this was an insult or not but the other day my daughters friend said:

"ummm, how do you get your hair to do that?!?" (you had to see the look on her face, not wonder, more she had never seen hair like that before)

I held back a nice witty response and just said "its does it by itself..." Her mom has curly hair (I can tell) but blows it nice and frizzy.....

3b/fine/porous/dry/still trying to figure out density...

everyone in my school either has naturally straight hair or they straighten it. Which is what i did for a while but then when i decided to show off my natural hair i did get alot of nice comments but its the rude ones i remember...

this one boy said to his friend that i looked like a toliet brush

This other boy said that he thought i looked like a boy.. even though my hair is long

someone else said i should straighten my hair cause i would look pretty. but with curley hair i dont.

one of my friends advised me to cut it really short and straighten it.

and soo on... so i pretty much just kept my hair up from then on untill i realised that i didnt care, and that i liked not looking like everyone else.

people can just be stupid. so i ignore
Last week I was at the salon getting my roots dyed and the stylist who has the station next to me was sitting in her chair reading and what she said to me was a first since I am no spring chicken she said "you have so much hair its like having a monster on your head then she preceded to say that it was like having your own pet!!" I was shocked and didn't respond. This was coming from a 20 something beach platinum blond with short thin hair who will be next to bald when she reaches my age
Can't wait to see her next time I need my roots done!
I really don't know if this was an insult or not but the other day my daughters friend said:

"ummm, how do you get your hair to do that?!?" (you had to see the look on her face, not wonder, more she had never seen hair like that before)

I held back a nice witty response and just said "its does it by itself..." Her mom has curly hair (I can tell) but blows it nice and frizzy.....
Originally Posted by sassysuzanne

people ask me that all the time. & i also respond the same!

unfortunately, just the other day one of my guy friends commented on my hair & said
"it's like a jerri curl! w/o the juice."

3c ?
I haven't actually had any real negativity in a while (yay!) but I do recall when I stopped straightening my hair, how only the "nasty" girls at school would say it looked like an afro...I have 3b curls :|
also when I was getting used to my new curls, people said I had a triangle head

Though, hearing about how a lot of you had trouble with your mothers, I have to say, my mum actually encouraged me to go natural =]
I really don't know if this was an insult or not but the other day my daughters friend said:

"ummm, how do you get your hair to do that?!?" (you had to see the look on her face, not wonder, more she had never seen hair like that before)

I held back a nice witty response and just said "its does it by itself..." Her mom has curly hair (I can tell) but blows it nice and frizzy.....
Originally Posted by sassysuzanne

people ask me that all the time. & i also respond the same!

unfortunately, just the other day one of my guy friends commented on my hair & said
"it's like a jerri curl! w/o the juice."

Originally Posted by shesyellow
wow! thats a first.

I've only had negative comments from my mother and grandmother. My grandmother is old school so she wants my hair straight all times with big "church" curls. My mother is a bit mental and actually yells at me about my hair. She came in the room one day screaming about "im tired of people blaming me for the way you look" still confused about that one. My hair is pulled back into a bun 100% of the time and i've only met her coworkers once....a year ago.
Last Relaxer: Nov. 07
BC: May. 2010 (30 months)
Hair Type: thick 4b/4a
Current length: back at APL
Goal length: hip
Staples: natural growth aides
I've had SO many mean comments made about my hair, I couldn't even post all the ones I DO remember. I'm biracial and I lived in a mainly white, straight-haired, middle-class, conformity obsessed area, and all the guys had some fetish for completely straight hair. If you had the slightest bit of wave in your hair, you were 'ugly' and 'weird looking'.

*I have nothing against guys who like straight's just annoying when you treat a girl like crap just because you don't find her hair texture attractive.*

I remember in elementary school, this stupid little girl randomly walked up to our substitute teacher, pointed to me, and said "Don't talk to that girl...she doesn't brush her hair." This same girl also turned my class against me and gave me nicknames such as "witch", "poodle", and "mad scientist". I remember looking at a picture hanging in the hallway and saying "that's pretty" and this stupid child turns to me and says "You wouldn't know what pretty is, like us real girls. Look at your hair. Why doesn't your mom make you brush your hair?". At this point I wanted to bust her face in, but getting in trouble wasn't worth it(I guess my maturity leve was WAY up there?). Now, years later in high school, this girl returns to my town..her straight hair fried, frizzy, and stiff from years of flat ironing and blowing out.

Some little kid told the teacher he didn't want me sitting behind him because "his hair might end up looking like mine" or "he might get lice".

Everytime someone wanted to insult me on something, even now, it would be either my hair or my weight(calling me 'anorexic looking'...which bothers me just as much as the comments on my hair..if not more.)

Recently I heard these two girls talking about my hair behind my back, saying "She need a relaxer, her hair so nappy she look like a slave!" and "She needa brush her hair to make it look right it so nasty lookin!"..yes, because brushing my hair will really change the natural texture of it...moron.

Sorry, just needed to rant. ;P
I really don't know why, but all my friends call me a poodle because I have curly hair (so original!) I really don't get it. I'm 100% positive that I look NOTHING like a poodle. I mean, there's a million OTHER dogs that I look more like!!

Also, in the winter when we had to run laps in the gym, people in my class (my friends) gave me a leash-like thing, attached it to what I was wearing, and made me their pet dog. They usually spent the whole time laughing and making jokes about my hair.

A while ago, a girl in my class came up to me and said, "you could have really nice hair. If you straightened it, it would look so much better. Then you wouldn't look so ugly."

There's a whole lot of worse things, but that's all I felt like writing.

Lastly, usually everyone says all the mean things in a way that I can't get mad at them for, so I just have to take it in silence. That's the worst part.
Who knows? maybe someday they'll have it happen to them, and feel bad.

Last edited by Sierra!; 05-29-2009 at 07:59 PM.
don king, grazing bush, pelo malo (bad hair), bougie,stuck up, nappy, ethiopian (though i'm still not sure what that had to do with my hair), brillo head or pad, mushroom head, the mighty triangle, feefee (as in poodle), mop top, shaggy dog, jackson 5, diana ross, scare crow...

i'm thinking those were the most memorable. there were plenty of others that i just cant think of or only remember when i have a bad hair day flash back lol
medium coarse
last relaxer 07/2006
some heat damage

still looking for good affordable products. Any tips are welcomed

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