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lotus 08-08-2004 02:47 PM

hurtful comments people've made about your hair
I was wondering if anyone had people make rude comments about their curly hair that really stayed with them? We can commisserate together! SOrry if this has been done.

I'm 26 now but these comments have stuck with me and given me a really negative image of my hair:

1 Walking down the school bus aisle I overheard one guy say "you know whose hot (referring to me)," guy 2 says "Eww with that huge mass of hair," "guy 1 says "WHo cares just put a bag over her head she has huge..." :evil: :evil: :evil:

2 In JH 1 of my best friends was running her hands through my hair. I asked her to stop saying it messed up my curls and I was having a bad hair day. SHe said "You *ARE* a bad hair day" :oops: :roll: In HS this same girl said, after I came to school with a temp straight style "YOu should keep it that way...."

3 In JH this boy said my hair felt like "ruberized sheep wool." :shock: :x

4 In preshool this girl put mud in my hair. And made some crappy comment that escapes me now.

5 When I was 10 I went shopping w/my grandma who has fine silky hair. WHenever a sales lady waited on us srandma would say "Look what the wind does to our hair"--desperately trying to smooth down my locks. Resistance is futile grandma :D

6 In hs my boyfriend saw a childhood picture of me. He said "Oh my God yo had a FRO". THere's nothing wrong with fros, but It wasn't anywhere close to a fro. Ignorance, ignorance.

7 In 7th grade a stylist chopped off 3/4 of my long hair when I'd asked for a trim. When I walked in a classroom to deliver a letter, everyone simultaneuosly gasped--DAAAAAAMMMMMN her hair is so frizzy. DAAAAMMMMN.

8 In the locker room in JH the girls would always tell me to get a relaxer.....unsolicited advice.

ANyway, I feel better now. SOrry for the vent. ANy similar experiences?

Botticelli Venus 08-14-2004 08:43 PM

Sounds like THEY need to relax!

I went to a convent school and the nuns HATED my hair. It was like that character in Jane Eyre where she has naturally curly hair so they cut it off. My mom cut it off till I was about 8, then gave me home perms in an effort to "control" it and then finally after a straight haired "pal" said with a look like "the patient is dying" -- "I don't know WHAT you're going to do about those CURLS" my mom resorted to straightening it chemically which made me the only little kid in school with split ends.

These days there's a girl at work who tells me she has thick "corkscrew curls" if she didn't straighten her hair -- and when I tell her I like my hair curly she says "You DO??!" Another girl has curly hair but straightens it sometimes and hates her curls too.

At my last job the first time the manager saw my hair curly she said it looked like I'd had a big chunk cut out of it. But then she had some pretty weird hairstyles, and another person who worked there said they preferred my hair curly.

sugarsweetkk08 08-14-2004 08:53 PM

[/b]I've had my share of bad comments about my hair. Which is why I still am very self conscious of it. I'm not as bad as I used to be but I remember being the sixth grade and the guy I had the hugest crush on said he didn't like me because " my hair was like a big mop." I was so upset, my mom didn't help ,she told me to cut it short and straighten it daily, that's what she did. I don't think I wore it down for months after that.

EuroCurly 08-15-2004 01:39 PM

My hair isn't even that curly (some days I'm more of a wavy), but when I was little, some children at school called me Zulu because of my hair. I was the only one whose hair wasn't completely straight, and that, in combination with my rather full lips, prompted them to call me that. At first I didn't even understand it; I thought of Zulu's as proud warriors and didn't understand that it was meant as an insult!

My grandma, who had straight hair herself, never understood my hair. She was always complaining that it looked too frizzy and always wanted to brush and comb it in order to make it look 'better'. I can remember that it always hurt so much when she tried to comb it, and now I know that all that brushing actually caused frizz!

SuZen 08-15-2004 05:02 PM

I had a pretty difficult time with my hair as a teenager. Straight hair was in then (the late 60s) and there were not a lot of styling options then...I used to roll my hair up in giant rollers and sit under a big hood dryer. That gave it a semi-acceptable "flip" -- ever see the Patty Duke show? But if it rained the whole thing just fuzzed out. Lots of bad hair days.

All I can say is that as time goes by, 1) you will get better control of your hair and 2) your peers will grow up and stop being such jerks.

lotus 08-16-2004 07:48 PM

All I can say is that as time goes by, 1) you will get better control of your hair and 2) your peers will grow up and stop being such jerks.[/quote]

--Yay! Actually, it was not till college that I started to get hair complements!
People were just more mature, and if they didn't like my hair they didn't say anything about it.

SuZen 08-17-2004 05:18 AM

Yes, and teenagers can be savage about anyone differing from the norm. People get more relaxed about appearance as they grow up and mature (we hope).

Mip 08-17-2004 03:15 PM

I was one of very few girls in primary school with curly hair and I got teased a fair bit. The main insults were 'birds' nest' and 'bush' and 'you look like you've stuck your fingers in an electric socket'. It was more annoying than hurtful, but I so wished for straight hair. I was always being asked if I curled my hair too.

Tamrin 08-23-2004 05:49 PM

I got called "Sambo", "Sheep," "Poodle" and "Frizzball" on a regular basis when I was in elementary school and junior high school. I too was a kid during the sixties, when super-straight hair was popular. So I remember the big rollers and the flip.

My mother, who has fine hair with a little bit of wave, used to curse when combing my hair out. She always told me "your hair looks so messy -- don't you ever comb it?" even if I'd just combed it five minutes earlier! Little did we know that the constant combing and brushing was what was making my hair look so messy and frizzy! Now, she complains that I use gel in my hair; that it looks "hard." Well, I have to use gel, or it'll be a huge mass of frizz! Can't win with some people. Other people compliment me on my curls, and her idea of being helpful is to suggest, "That girl who straightened your hair a few years back did such a nice job, why don't you go back to her?" Because my hair was damaged and breaking off, maybe? And because having my hair straight seems kinda flat and dull to me now?

Rednaturalcurls 09-24-2004 08:00 AM

I was called poodle, frizzy, all the generic comments but I think the worst was someone stuck a sticker on my back that said "I have nappy hair" I am a pale white girl so that does not apply nor would I ever say anyone else has nappy hair because I think it's mean. I also heard cracks about how much hairspray, etc I used. No one seemed to grasp that at the time it was the only way I knew to keep it under control. I tried to straighten for awhile but that was just too much work and if it rained or the wind blew too hard, forget it. I spent pretty much all my school years in a ponytail or bun. Sometimes I wish the people that made those comments could see my now but then I think their opinions probably haven't changed much, too small minded.

Mitche 09-24-2004 09:39 AM

Some "friends" in high school used to call me "tumbleweed" because they said I looked like a tumbleweed with eyes.

My mother always asks me if I stuck my finger in an electric socket to get my hair to look like that (I got my hair from her and she usually puts hers up in a really tight bun because she doesn't like the curl). :evil:

musing_curls 09-24-2004 08:20 PM

whoa! My fellow curlies have had it a lot worse than i. I haven't gotten any comments about my hair, all my friends see to love it, strangers tell me they envy it, i even had one ask to touch it. But then i didnt start wearing my hair curly untill i was in eighth grade, so i suppose i was mostly past the 'teasing' age in school.

backtonature 09-29-2004 02:16 PM

Just last year - out of the blue my mom said "With that nice job you have you should be able to go to a good (expensive) stylist and get a good cut or something" (I've had $120 hair visits, and I'm 37 so I just laughed) but...I was in the process of growing it longer, and she made me feel so insecure, so I went and had it all cut off in a "shirley henderson" Brady bunch cut, and my husband hated it. I have very thin, fine curly hair, and all my life she (and others) kept telling me that people with thin hair should NEVER grow it long. The boys in school said I looked like a boy.

My husband talked me into growing it back out, and now that I've adopted a modified CG routine without blow dryers and curling irons, my hair seems a lot healthier, and he loves my shoulder lenghth curls. The women at work all said, I thought you liked your hair short, are you growing it out, and I proudly say "yes", and they men at work seem to notice me more which helps my confident. So I'm learning to love me...

Cary 10-04-2004 08:56 PM

curls are sexy, i dont care what anyone says

subbrock 10-05-2004 12:49 PM

my boyfriend like to "tousel" my hair. he rubs the palm of his hand all over it super fast and i hate it! i tell him to stop because hes messing up my hair and he always laughs and says that you cant mess up my hair. that makes me angry because rubbing my curly helmet DOES mess it up and makes it frizzy!!!

Triscurl 10-05-2004 01:11 PM

Being in a group of friends that are all anime/japanophiles (and all of them, save my boyfriend, like asian women with "hair they can run their hands through". It's fun to hang out with only boys![/sarcasm]) I get quite a few comments. The other Bush is my current nickname :evil:
The one that's affected me the most through my life, however, was the first day of 3rd grade. After asking a hairstylist to layer my then waist-length hair as it had been previously (and even showing pictures! OF MYSELF!) she proceeded to chop it all above my ears. The horror. Poodle, clown, you name it. Blech. Children are so cruel.

plink 10-08-2004 11:53 AM

All thru grade school(you know, the formative years) my hair was cut above my ears cause all the hair stylists would say" She has such difficult hair" and " She can't grow it long, it will just grow out and be a bush".Got mistaken for a boy all the time. Didn't help that my sister had loong straight hair and never let me forget it.

But the most hurtful was from a guy I really adored. He said "Can't you do something about that BIG hair". Ha. That was when I was taming it. Serves him right. He's pretty bald now.

I look for ways to make my hair bigger and wilder now. Don't know if it's maturity or stupidity but I love my hair.

MonnieKuh 10-13-2004 05:12 PM

As a junior in high school, I'm definitely no stranger to insults about my hair. I was another one of those who had boy-short hair in elementary school, and it didn't grow out gracefully, to say the least. I had so many insults about my hair in middle school. Now, I absolutely hate it when people tell me "you'd be so beautiful if you'd only straighten your hair!"

I'm a shoulder-length 3b/3c, very dark brown.

SuZen 10-14-2004 05:51 AM

Hang in there, MonniKuh. By the end of the school year they'll all be jealous, since waves and curls are coming into style in a big way.

iguana187 10-17-2004 09:53 PM

I've heard all the same horrible remarks as everyone else as a child. People can be really rude. The great thing is now that I know how to deal with my curls and they are full and natural, I get tons of positive remarks every day. My hair is the first thing people notice about me and I've had several offers from people who want to buy it. (weird, I know.) Anyway, my point is that when you embrace your curls, other people will start to notice how wonderful they are! :-)

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