new guy hates my hair


I noticed also that you said he's caucasion. He's probably a redneck by nature b/c all of the hip, liberal white guys I know, would show off your hair and LOVE it's unique character. I have EVERY type of friend possible and I love just going natural - no matter how tight, curly, big or frizzy. It has NO bearing on the inside beauty of a person. Did you guys break up by now?
Curly 3a. Letting it grow, using conditioners and products that are PRO curl and not straightening thanks to
PW: curlz
Wow. Lots of people have already replied, but I'm shocked that this boy felt so entitled to shower you with racist comments! Clearly he's not worth anyone's time.
Yea I know this half and half guy who doesn't like my hair. Psh like I care. Im sure if you were surrounded by straight blonde hair you would be off by curls... he dated all white girls who had pin straight hair. I was the "black" girlfriend. It's not worth wasting your time on guys like that. They don't understand your beauty, I know guys who absolutely love curly hair and would kill to date a girl who had beautiful curls she was proud of. Some guys...just aren't worth the breath to talk to.

yea she probably has moved on by now...
Mostly 3c and lovin' my curls

This is not a fashion trend, it's not a statement, it's pride for who we are and what we look like. And that is where our true beauty shines.
Same thing happened to me when I straightened my hair for a man and when I let it go back to curly, he broke up with me the next day. Stating that he couldn't see himself in a long term relationship with someone so "unpredictable". That was so fake, the only thing that changed was my hair! But you should have seen his face fall when he saw the real me.

Guys settle easier than women, and act b..chier than women!


You're right. Men are so much more insecure and settle so much quicker. Esp. men over 30.
Curly 3a. Letting it grow, using conditioners and products that are PRO curl and not straightening thanks to
PW: curlz

that guy was a real loser, he actually did you a favor by showing his true colours. (colours is spelled with a u in Canada like the Brits)
Imagine, dumping a girl because of the texture of her hair!

But the original guy in this thread was a racist. People have a misconception that racists are only those from the deep south with pointy hats. Racism comes in many shapes and sizes and can be contradictory in nature. For example, people 'of colour' hate that term we are all a colour (anyway)... who get on other people about their complexion.

I think the example of the boyfriend dating you but clearly making racist remarks is an interesting example of the way racism exists in our current society.

don't waste your time, i would sell my left foot for your hair.
Yes I know this thread is old but I am just amazed at the people who skipped right over his racist comment about your skin complexion and FOCUSED on you saying he ex's were ugly. All that aside, who cares if he did not like your hair and it was tactless to make the comment about his ex's but for some people to ignore the racist comment is a bit frightening.
3c and frizzy
Wow. Some people don't understand that other people have feelings. People like that may be cool now, but in 5 years, they'll fail life. Thisguy isn't worth being friends with. Tell him he needs to be nice and get some people skills.
i saw your picture at myspace-subbock and your curls are what my dreams are made of (i'm a 4b-z, hahaha). The comments this guy makes are so shockingly negative and racist. Please get rid of him. Any man (of any ethnicity) I've dated has got to appreciate my natural hair. its clean and its healthy and it does look good on me even though i still rock wigs, braids and weaves.

BTW, HATE IS HATE, but i'm so curious if this guy is black or non-black? I'm not sure which would be worse, but typically men can find whatever type of "woman" they want SO why torment a girl with the kinda hair you don't like????? He's abusive.
they dying like stumps, me, I'm going down like one of those redwoods

Very old thread, but still...

It sounds like he doesn't like you for who you are. It also sounds like he is passive-agressive. I believe that his comments about your hair are meant to demean you and give you low self esteem. Of course his comment are racist.


The fact the he is Caucasian means nothing. My husband is also Caucasian, and he loves my (kinky,nappy) hair. Conversely, I've had African American men make negative comments about my hair.

Dump him and don't look back.

kdcreigh 4a and b (who knows?)

Relegated to occasional lurking in order to keep the PJ in check!
PW: natural
The fact the he is Caucasian means nothing. My husband is also Caucasian, and he loves my (kinky,nappy) hair. Conversely, I've had African American men make negative comments about my hair.
Originally Posted by kdcreigh
My boyfriend is also Caucasian and once he made the mistake of calling my hair nappy. He thought that since I joked about it being nappy sometimes, he was also allowed to call it nappy. Nope.

But anywho, I've been natural since he and I met, and when he sees pictures of my relaxed hair he gets a slightly worried look and asks me if I'm ever going to do that again. When I tell him no, you should see how relieved he is!

I'm going on a bit of a tangent now, but what you said about having African American men say bad things about your hair reminded me of the movie "Something New". She (black girl) was dating a white guy who wanted her to have her natural hair and stop straightening it and putting in weave. When she met the black guy in her natural state and he saw pics from before, he said she should wear her hair like that again. That it looked much nicer or w/e :x. People need to accept natural beauty!

Ok, I'm done now
Smile, its good for you.
3C, 4A, 4B
My DH is German(Blondish-brown, straight hair, light skin) and me, I'm a proud Italian girl with dark skin and lotsa curly hair!

My hubby said most men (not boys, MEN) LOVE curly luscious hair, not stick straight hair and women with curves, not those models we see in the media who are so skinny and flat-looking.

He tells me those are the sexiest qualities in a woman and that's what men reeeeeeeeally want!

BTW, Subbrock--you are gorgeous and your curls are fabulous!
3B, with oodles and oodles of curly hair!
Summer Faves: Devacare NoPoo & OneC, CF High Humidity Gel.
2nd day hair: Deva Set Me Up pomade & Mr. Right
DT: Devacurl Heaven in Hair
Been CG since 2005 and never looked back!
Subbrock, he doesn't sound like a very nice guy at all. It's one thing to make polite suggestions about someone's hair. However, this guy sounds straight up rude. I think you can do better in the guy department! If he really liked you, he would like you for who you are to begin with, or at least he would be polite about things he thinks you should change! He just doesn't sound very polite and gentleman like at all, in my opinion. The question becomes what do you see in him?
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 583
Its stuff like this that makes me never want to straighten my hair again. Makes you wonder if people would love you regardless of your outward appearance.
Was this guy Caucasian?
Originally Posted by LipGlassHoney
yeah, he is.
Originally Posted by subbrock
You were my hair God when i started growing my hair. Ironic that I would find this thread.

How's this for coincidence, I started dating a west indian guy, quite young (that's a whole 'nother thread), but sharp, earlier this month. We hung out last week... and he mentioned - "Whats up with this Color Purple hair" as a joke... and then Monday night reiterates, "when am I gonna see your hair different?" I laughed it off and replied with - baby I'd never put a perm in my hair... and he goes "Damn baby, you won't straighten it or nothing..." I told him to take me or leave it!!!

BUT THEN last night... I strolled on down to CVS, picked up a 20 dollar flat iron, and for the first time in 3 years, washed, dried, and flat ironed my whole head.


Now, of course half way through the 2 hour process - the guy calls... It was a sign!!! I woke up this morning feeling so shallow - but then realized I kinda like the wind blowing through my hair for a change. I am normally the rebellious dominant type, but I figure I give in a little... and besides... I've also found a new look.
Big Cut 03.15.05
12 in. of hair
Last Relaxer: 10.15.04

"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power".

The Organic Beauty Handbook (my blog)
No matter what color this guy is, he really doesn't sound right for you. Maybe he needs to find a straight haired girl or he needs to be by himself for a while.
Holding a Grudge is Like Drinking Poison Hoping the Other Person will Die.

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