Stop Touching My Hair!!!!!

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Usaully people ask me first. Usually. My old Aquitaines, who unfortunately have this inferior complex about there own curly hair(the black people good/bad hair belief) would think that putting there hands thru my hair and brushing it dry was fun. Then they would laugh and see HA! i its tangled. OF course it is, the curls curl into each other over and over again, its not straight hair. You can't comb the it over and over again when dry!!! But these people never wear the hair curly unless there taking their weave out or unbraideding it*rolls eyes*. It's sad that only 1or 2 out of hundred black women in my school wear there hair natural. Anyways i undertsand how you feel. It's fine when someone asks me and hold my hair gently, but its not cool with they try to brush my hair with there greasy comb or nasty hands.
Sometimes I'm okay with the boinging if they do it the right way. But some people just grab a chunk of my hair, yank, and *poof* frizzy hair that appears after all my hard work. I have to get up early to take a shower, and people just feel free to ruin it.

I think I'll just prepare a spray bottle and whenever a person pulls, I'll spray them. Works with pets. And if it's a straight head, they'll be extra mad cause it'll ruin their hair Honestly, people do not know their manners anymore!
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3b/c Curly since Feburary 2008, CG since June 2008, Lurking for a long time

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I had this exact problem with my best friend! She has pin straight, fine hair that won't hold any sort of curl (not even a perm!), so she's constantly telling me how much she wishes she had my hair. Its nice to hear compliments, but she doesn't understand curly hair at all! She'll play with my hair and touch it when she compliments it and end up making all frizzy. I try to tell her, but she just doesn't get it all (it doesn't help that she's a little air headed on top of it...)

Besides this, I've had people in tons of stores touch my hair, and people set behind me in classes (all the way into college!) pull my hair "to see it bounce back up"! One women even walked up to me tonight with her friend, grabbed a chunk of my hair and loudly told her friend "I want a perm like this girl's"! 1. Just ask and maybe you can touch, 2. my hair is not a perm! Too many people assume that it has to be!

Last edited by Froggie427; 11-25-2008 at 10:13 PM. Reason: left out something
I currently work as a cashier and sometimes after customers compliment my hair they ask if they can touch it. No idea why, but as long as they ask, it's totally okay with me. (Assuming they aren't raking their hands through it!) I take it as a compliment, my hair apparently looks healthy and shiny enough so that someone would WANT to touch it. I doubt that people would want to touch a frizzball mess.
Thick, dyed dark brown, 2c/3a in long layers to mid back

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Leave in:
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Smooth 'N Shine Hair polisher
this. happens. all. the. time.

first, there are the girls in my class. who just like to touch it, play with it, and make it frizzy. and i'm like, okay, you can stop now.

second, little old ladies. I love them. but sometimes they just TOUCH. and depending on my mood, it's mostly okay.

third, little kids. ohmygoodness. Last week I was babysitting and 2 of the little girls decided they wanted to play "doctor." that quickly turned to "stylist." And they took out this little plastic brush that might work on Barbie's hair but certainly not mine. Then, once I was at Target and a little 3 or 4 year old girl stands up in her carrt and *boing* the hair goes. Her mom apologized a lot, though.

lastly, SISTER. with straight hair. who entirely messes it up, I mean I can't tell you what she does to it. Oh, well.

goodness. If curly hair is so fun to touch, why don't more people grow it for themselves
I am a 3a/b with normal-coarse hair that is medium-thick and fairly porous.

Currently using:
~VitaminShampoo (CG )
~L'oreal Vive Pro Nutri Gloss for medium to long hair that's curly/wavy that is a mouthful.
~Garnier Fructis curl-shaping spray gel
~Pantene curl defining mousse
I generally don't mind when people touch my hair, but then again I've never had someone walk up to me and deliberately grab my hair or make a big deal out of it. Standing in line at the grocery store and feeling a light tug from behind doesn't bother me. I'll either ignore it or turn around and smile at the person.

I have this one friend (God bless her, I love her dearly) who has thick, pin-straight hair and doesn't understand curls at all. And she thinks it's hilarious to make me frizzy. So, while almost everyone else has the common sense to gently take a curl between two fingers and "boing" it, she starts fiddling with the ends and combing her fingers through it! And then she wonders why I yell at her. (she has been warned. Multiple times.)

But, I did get my revenge. She sometimes curl-irons her hair into these big loopy wave-curls, so one day I just went up to her and started raking my fingers through it, and all the curls immediately fell out. She flipped, and I said "Wow, it must suck having someone run their fingers through your hair without permission and ruining your curls!" *pointed look* (I cut my own hair)
Pacific Northwest girl, color-treated fine 3B, med-low porosity

Products: Suave Coconut condish, Giovanni Direct Leave-In, FSG or KCCC, AfroVeda Shea-Amla Cream
You ladies must have pretty fantastic curls if people are irresistably drawn to touching your hair!

This has never happened to me. Okay, one time I wore my hair down at a wedding, and an aunt who is a hairdresser touched my hair and complemented me on the waves. But that's it.
Wavy, curly on the ends, 2C.
Coarse to medium textured, porous, dry, and lots of it.
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For inquiring minds who want to know:
I'm in highschool and I have a teacher who loves to pet my 4b hair. She acts like it is the most amazing things she has seen or felt in her life! it's actually kinda funny. People do it to me all the time. My hair is actually very short 1/2" so i can imagine how it will be when I grow out my hair and start wearing an afro.
HAPPY to be NAPPY!!!
People don't touch my hair but they often say to me "We're not in the 80s, you know!". And I even heard this once (the person that was saying it didn't know I was there!): "I think Jas is so uncool, just look at her hair. Uh, like, who has a poodle hair like that nowadays?" That makes me mad! Since when did it became fashionable to have flat, thin and ironed hair? I thought that volume was more feminine and sexy than lack of volume. By the way my hair is 2c.

Just see how things have changed:
A picture form "Can't Buy Me Love" movie (1987), a year before I was born.

And now...

Excuse me but the hair of the second picture looks as dry as straw.
Straight hair can be nice too (but not as nice as wavy/curly hihihi).

Anyway, in general I can't stand people who are stuck to what the media say is beautiful. Don't pay any attention to what they say, please!

The less "trendy" and more open minded people are the ones that feel the urge to boing my hair and the ones who tend to love it.
It happens to me all the time. Mostly my friends though. It is so annoying. I hate when people touch my hair.
About once a week - Condition with Curls Milkshake. Comb in Kinky Curly Leave In Conditioner & Kinky Curly Curling Custard after squeezing most of the water out of my hair. Use table top dryer for 10 minutes. Use diffuser for 10 minutes.
Daily - Lightly wet hair. Comb in a little Kinky Curly Curling Custard if needed. Use table top dryer for a few minutes or let air dry.
Shampoo - Only before straightening.
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 321
I've been in this situation as well. With my family, they know me and the kind of person I am I love my personal space so they ask first and wait until I say yes. Out and about I had a few encounters with people wanting to touch and it didn't turn out well for them. The first time I turned and grabbed the lady's hair back and said "did I say it was ok to invade my personal space?" She was really apologetic, but I had to explain to her just because you like it doesn't give you free reign to reach out and touch it, you don't see me grabbing randomly hot men do you? Anyway, these days I must look like I'm on a mission all the time and really focused because people don't just grab at it anymore, mostly people will stop me and ask if it's natural and what products I use (I think some of them have children with hair similar to mine or they themselves are considering going natural). I'm all about promoting natural hair but not at the expense of my own!
"The one unchangeable certainty is that nothing is certain or unchangeable."

Hair type: 3C
I am a serial cutter
People touch my hair all the time. I really don't mind, and think it's wicked funny actually, and it makes me feel better about the way my hair is.

My friends can without asking, but I'd prefer if strangers did, it doesn't bother me to much though.

Only one stranger has touched my hair without asking, and she was the cosmetology at our school.
it's nice to know I'm not the only person this happens to! I find it's more friends, coworkers and people I know who touch my hair. It drives me up the wall because it causes my hair to get insanely frizzy. I mean how often to they see even ME touching my hair! Not very often which means you can't touch it yourself!! Thanks anyways, come again. They do it when I straighten my hair as well because I'll only do it maybe 3 times a year and its fascinating to them. Yet again it causes my hair to frizz. I usually just pull away with this look that says "what the heck are you doing to my hair"
Strangely this only happened to me when i was younger. I had white - see-through - and dead straight hair, people would always touch it to see if it was even there, now though, i have 3A and people keep their paws off, mostly 'cause if they reach for it i glare and they back off. I don't like people messing with what took me an hour to perfect!
Type: 3a with some 2c and 3b bits inbetween

Products: trying out a few till i find the best

Hair likes: coconut oil!

Hair hates: Humidity - i live on the coast of SA so i can't avoid that

closet curly just come out of the closet with vengeance
I try not to get annoyed when people just walk up and touch my hair but it's still part of my you wouldn't just walk up to me on the street and rub my cheek (well some people do ANYTHING they want). I guess it is a compliment though, especially when they realize it's not weave....I get asked if my hair is real when it's straight or curly.

People seem to be bolder now-a-days too....I don't remember my peers walking up to me 10 years ago asking if my hair was mine. lol
Relaxer free since 12/2001...

Mostly 3c with 4a in the back.
I have friends who will walk up to me, play with my curls, and then walk away without saying a word. It's so ridiculous! I'll admit that curly hair is fun to play with. I do it myself sometimes. It's just so silly how everyone seems to think that it's perfectly acceptable to just stick their hands in your bubble!

I also got the "Is your hair natural?" thing a lot when I was younger. Especially in elementary school, oddly enough. I was always tempted to respond with, "No, my mom pays more money on my hair than her's just so I can pretend to have curly hair."
People who ask and I know can touch my hair. They know how much time I put into it and they often were right there listening to me complain about it.

People who randomly TOUCH MY HAIR. Run the risk of getting a "stern talking to" or getting hit. Plain and simple--I nearly got detention once for punching a girl for just literally GRABBING me and my hair and scaring me senseless after I repeatedly told her not to touch me EVER.

Last relaxer: August 2008
Big Chop: December 2008/January 2009

Blog: Alice in Nappyland
About 7 years ago I had a haircut that was to reveal alot more wave than I ever imagined, and this was before I went totally C.G, so I was a bit(alot) nervous about it, well me and my better half went to better halfs best mates birthday party and he just made a target out of my hair pretty much as soon as I walked thru the door... he kept saying that we had slipped back to the 80's courtesy of me and that I had a Demi-wave put in especially for his party, and wanting to touch it and stuff, I just felt dreadful.
well, after a couple of drinks he came up to me, knelt down beside me and asked in a very loud voice if I really did have a perm just for his party,* enter one very p****d off C.G*, I belted him across the back of the head! I have NEVER been so humiliated and in front of near strangers too!! And I must point out that I am the most passive person you'll ever likly to meet.
I reacted very badly I know, but I had just about had enough at that stage, after that, we didnt stay long, in fact, we left pretty soon after.
In the car my better half said that I shouldnt have hit him but he understood why I did it, then he burst out laughing saying " you should have seen his it's the first time he has ever had a smack in his life..hopefully it will teach him some manners!"
That was the first and last time someone has ever been so negative about my hair, except for my s-i-l who thought I had a perm, but that's another story!!
Thick, 2C with little 3A's thrown in to make my hair look a little more wild.FIA:2c/3a-M
Last Haircut:17/1/07
Ultimate Goal: To go as long as possible
Products Used:coconut cowash, tescos own gel citrus spice whipped butter
Hair Length:BSL
NEW PHOTOS ADDED: 20th August'09

Last edited by aerohead; 12-24-2008 at 10:12 AM. Reason: remembered some more
I don't know why this never seems to bother me. I actually enjoy it, especially if they compliment me while touching my hair. To me, it's just people expressing their interest or curiosity. Kind of like a child that knows the cause, but not the effect.

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