How can I raise my self esteem?

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The funny thing is that with the ex, he's the first guy i actually stood up to as well. That's why I stopped talking to him because I couldn't take his antics anymore. I assumed he would never want to talk to me again since I pretty much cursed him out and walked away. Glad to know that I was wrong. I have to work on not being clingy too. Idk why because I had a good upbringing, but i have found that i have abandonment issues. I always assume people, especially guys, will stop talking to me or get bored of me. I wish i knew where it came from. Deep down I know you are right about him ignoring me being good for me, i just hate feeling bad about it. I treated him extremely well and to be tossed aside like garbage hurts. Sure, we never dated, but we did see each other for 2 years. It hurts to know that all that could be forgotten in a minute. I hope I can find someone one day like u did!
Originally Posted by sKorpio1190

See.. there's something to be said for standing up for yourself! Men have more respect for women who don't take their sh*t. Although, some hate it and leave lol. I'm glad your ex is making you feel a bit better, that's always nice It helped me to think about the opposite - what if I'm bored with them?? Seriously.. think about it. How can we not be bored with someone who doesn't give us what we need/want? All you need to do is switch your thinking up a bit, and you will see great improvements in how you view yourself and others. I'm the queen of abandonment issues, I get you 100%.
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I'm so glad u understand, even though it has to be from something no one should have to struggle with
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I feel akin to you ladies now, well more-so than ever.
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I feel akin to you ladies now, well more-so than ever.
Originally Posted by DaniGirl88
I almost didn't recognize u with ur pic changed!
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sKorpio, part of self esteem comes with age (I used to roll my eyes at people who said that to me when I was already in my 20s, but I'm 32 now and there's definitely a difference! not saying I have HIGH self esteem by any means, but it's not as bad as it used to be), and part of it also comes from surrounding yourself with people who genuinely like you and WANT to build you up. This doesn't have to be someone you're dating (in fact, that is usually not a good thing to depend on, a boyfriend/girlfriend can't be responsible for your self esteem), people who are just friends but don't want to hear you talk badly about yourself can do it very well. Part of it ALSO has to be you actively deciding to be more positive in your life, even if you can only do this in little baby steps. Try to catch yourself thinking ONE bad thing a day and prove to yourself why that thought isn't really true -- it's tough, but it actually works.

5 of 6 years ago I would have thought that everything I just told you up there was a big bunch of BS lol but it's actually pretty true. And I think everyone has low esteem moments occasionally, it's just a matter of not getting overwhelmed by them.

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Yea, I have noticed that women who are older are usually more confident. It definitely is the case with my mom. She says when she was my age she was like me and now she's too loud and bold lol. I'm hoping that my self esteem will go up like hers did. Then it actually gives me something to look forward to as I age!
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