Say It. I Dare You.

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I don't get it. You miss me, you say, but you don't take the opportunities you have to talk to me? I KNOW you're busy, but when I miss someone and want to talk to them, if I can only talk to them by texting them while I pee, or calling while driving home, etc, then I do it. I'm feeling like I want to talk to you waaaaaay more than you want to talk to me and I have BTDT in the past and do not want it again.

And I don't think it's too much to ask that you find the time to do so. I'm NOT asking for much, just a 'hey how are you, how was your day, how are you feeling (when I'm feeling bad, like today, and you know it), well here's what I have to do tonight, but I wanted to say hey.'

I'm starting to feel like I care way more about you than you do about me. I'm SO effing tired of feeling this way about people. Is it so hard to find someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them?

Last edited by Rheanna83; 04-30-2008 at 07:08 PM.
and you deserve everything thats happening to you.
...why would he want to help YOU with YOUR problems?? you mean nothing to him now.




Last edited by Rheanna83; 04-30-2008 at 07:09 PM. Reason: screwed up.
And now for some *****y stereotypical teen drama:

I'm tired of all my friends fighting and dragging me into the middle of it. I'm tired of mediating. I'm tired of you ranting and expecting me to console you by agreeing with all your bashes. I'm tired of having to watch what I say so it won't come back to bite me in the ass.

-I'm tired of you complaining about her tactlessness, when she's complaining about the same thing.
-I'm tired of you putting her down to me - no I will not take sides.
-I'm tired of getting ambushed with "OMG guess what she just said to me?!"s.
-I'm tired of you coming up with stupid excuses to be a *****.
-I'm tired of you trying to keep your friends to yourself - we like them too.
-I'm tired of you overanalyzing everything your boyfriend does.
-I'm tired of you borrowing my phone and pretending to be me in order to extract information from said boyfriend.
-I'm tired of you being oversensitive and taking everything way to personally, and then holding a grudge for the next EIGHT FRICKIN MONTHS before finally bringing it up in a nice little ***** fest.
-I'm tired of you deciding which people are your 'true' friends or not based on whether you've ever fought with them before.
-I'm tired of you saying I'm your 'numero uno' true friend. Based on that, you wouldn't be mine. Ditcher.
-I'm tired of you whining because he said she said behind your back. Everyone does it, babe. Sorry.
-I'm tired of you complaining that your boyfriend doesn't want to go to the dance with you. He had an amazing concert that night, and he went to the last dance with you. Get over it. He's graduated. He didn't want to go when he was still in school either. lkjfesajlkw
-I'm tired of you putting me down when your in a crabby mood.
-I'm tired of you dating around and complaining when all they want is in your pants. If you don't want them to think that, don't make it so public that you've topped third base with ALL of them.

But thank you however, for embellishing on that time she tried to hook up with my boyfriend. Not sure if I believe you, because I'm not sure whether I believe she's quite that much of a whore. This fits nicely under trying to turn people against each other. I remember the *insert lame prissy girl impression here* "I don't know what it is... but whatever guy I want... I always get them" quote, and it pissing me off, but I'm not sure whether I'm ready to believe that she repeated it and ended with "and I could get Rob just like that. Nay's wouldn't stand a chance." So I'm going to assume my two best friends have suddenly turned into massive annoyances. When did that happen?! Oh. High school. And yeah, I guess I'm not being such a fantastic friend. Loyal's what everyone calls me, right? Yeah. I'm the loyal friend who's always there, and who always listens, and gives fantastically frank advice. Evvveryone loves me for that. Did either of you ever think that it really sucks to hear you bashing each other? Did you ever think that maybe the other person will be having the exact conversation with me later tonight, and that no, I will not be enjoying that either?

I love you guys, really, but not like this. So just SHUT UP for a bit and take a good look at everything you've said to each other, and then stop putting each other down to me. Because I don't LIKE to think my friends can be that callous. And I'm sorry I'm having to explode on a message board where you'll never see it, but its better than EXPLODING in your face because of how frustrated I am. I managed to be nice and consoling for a while. But I'm sure you've noticed by now the exasperated looks me and Beth pass across the lunch table when you start up again.
WHY did you go to florida together in the middle of a "war"?! Please, guys, give it a rest. Its been three months. If you cant stand each other that much, don't talk to each other. You have given me so many headaches, and I would love to talk about something other than whos *****y comment was last directed at whom.

I want to stay friends with you both. I love you both dearly. And when its either two of us, its fine. Rediciulously silly and dry-humory and innapropriate-why-arent-we-boys comment-y. I love it. I can't act like such a buffoon with anyone else. Just you two. And I miss the way we used to be SO much. But it's different now - apparantly. Just dredging up old squabbles. Please, just, get over this whole thing. Much as I love being in the loop, this is driving me crazy!


Last edited by Mass1gBewegt; 05-01-2008 at 06:27 AM.
nm, I'm sorry for everything. The whole thing was just stupid. I hope you call soon so I can apologize.

Last edited by cympreni; 05-01-2008 at 12:00 PM.
I need a break from my life. I have been in a permanent funk for 3 years that I cannot seem to shake no matter what I do. I would like to start over!
That really hurt. And I've never had someone just casually say goodbye on the phone while I was sobbing. That was new. I'm somewhat glad I'm home sick today because at least then I can cry all ****ing day like I want to and need to do.

I feel so lost here lately and I hate it. I feel like there is *nothing* good in my life and I miss every single thing I used to have, but I wasn't happy then. I guess something is wrong with me.

PS: Why can't I stop loving you? It would really make it a lot easier to deal with, ya know.

PPS: I can't believe you said that to me. I can't figure out how you feel, or why you'd lie, or what you want. I just simply do not get it, and it's exhausting.

Last edited by Rheanna83; 05-01-2008 at 01:50 PM.
Best day ever (ok, best day in a long long while).
"Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people."

"I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then we live with that decision."
- Eleanor Roosevelt (both quotes)

(taking a break from posting starting late august 2009)
I sometimes wish I didn't love you. I sometimes wish that we would have just remained close friends and that you hadn't told me you loved me and that you knew I was going to be your wife one day soon, etc., because all those grand proclamations of what our future would have encompassed were just illusions/dreams unfulfilled.

And I'll always wonder what if. I'll always wonder had I not invested the time and energy in you, would I be in a better place right now? Would I be happier? If I had gone down sooner, would we be where we are?

Luckily, I don't have MUCH time to dwell on the could bes, but the most vulnerable part of me still longs to be your woman........
A wonderful mix of coils, curls, corkscrews, and kinks.
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"You see, when it comes to language competence, a true patriot must hit that sweet spot between "job-stealing immigrant" and "liberal elitist." ~Eilonwy

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What made you want to start talking to me NOW?

I mean, I don't mind. I like talking to you. I'm just wondering.

Why not a long time ago, when we first met?

"And death is at your doorstep
And it will steal your innocence
But it will not steal your substance
But you are not alone in this"

“My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.” - Tina Fey
Do you know there's a minimize button? You don't have to close what I'm working on each time you want to check Craigslist or your mail!

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If you feel beautiful, you are beautiful.
You don't want me to go, and say you can do my work there? Then don't complain when I ask you to do ALL the work I was planning on doing.
The pews never miss a sermon but that doesn't get them one step closer to Heaven.

But at least the pews never attend yoga!
You disappoint me. How long do you think I'm going to be satisfied with sitting around?
Mid-back length 3a, red.
Currently using: Joico, Redken, LA Looks Curl Look gel, BRHG.
I'm scared. Really really scared. I don't know what I will do if what I think is going on IS going on. I'm hoping that I'm just freaking out for nothing. I really hope. Because if not, you and I have ALOT we need to talk about.

I was not prepared to possibly have to deal with this.
A wonderful mix of coils, curls, corkscrews, and kinks.
PW: curlyhair

I have a blog now. Follow meeeee!

"You see, when it comes to language competence, a true patriot must hit that sweet spot between "job-stealing immigrant" and "liberal elitist." ~Eilonwy

Wanna have access to the top names in fashion and luxury at up to 70% off retail? Sure you do.

DC metro area
I hope the regression gods will be smiling upon me tomorrow when I'm taking my exam.

And give me my money!!!! What's taking so long? FYI: Don't ever buy combs from Creative's website. POS quality AND poor customer service. Give me my refund already!
3B that is no longer CG, but still endeavors to have healthy hair by not using sulfates.
What I Want (in a guy):

Someone intelligent enough that I can talk to them about important things.

Someone that gives FEEDBACK when we discuss these things.

Someone who makes me laugh.

Someone who laughs at my jokes, too.

Someone that is a good, kind person. Someone who geniunely cares for others, and is willing to help others out without being their doormat.

Someone who would possibly be a good father someday.

Someone that's GROWN UP and doesn't feel the need to hang onto being a teenager. Yes, I'm very young, but I've been on my own for 5 1/2 years. I have worked for 6 years. I pay ALL my own bills, thank you very much. Hell, if anything, I help my parents out, not the other way around. This is not party and hang out time for me, and I don't want a guy who is in that mode either. I'm way past that. Actually, I wasn't really ever in it so much...

Someone who wants to talk to me as much as I want to talk to them.

Someone who won't make me feel needy because they are never available.

Someone that won't get defensive when I say that I wish we could talk or spend more time together...

Someone that is willing to, despite their busy schedule, find or make time for me.

Someone who doesn't treat me as though everything else is priority and I'm their free time hobby. After some time has elapsed and things are more serious, yes, I want to come first, dammit. I put you first, why can't you do the same for me?

Also, someone that doesn't *need* me... (well, maybe sometimes.) But I want them to want me more than they need me. I want them to talk to me and be with me because they want to be, not because they are afraid of being alone or need me to play mom to them.

Someone who doesn't/wouldn't cheat. SOmeone that would be man enough to end things before getting to that point.

Someone who is freaking AVAILABLE!

That is all.
now, please. NOW. thank you
"Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people."

"I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then we live with that decision."
- Eleanor Roosevelt (both quotes)

(taking a break from posting starting late august 2009)
you are killing me. killing me. why can't you say it to me? i can't take this anymore.

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