Say It. I Dare You.

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You are a fanatic. I don't avoid arguing with you because you're right. I avoid arguing with you because you scare me.
I don't want to be "converted" nor do I want to listen to your irrational nonsense. About anything. Should you decide to actually use logic, then talk to me. We don't have to agree, but as long as you're an irrational psycho, I will avoid and ignore you.

It's really too bad you taught English grammar last term, since you do not know how to use it. If you're going to go into a long reason of why a tense does not exist, at least choose one which doesn't exist.
The pews never miss a sermon but that doesn't get them one step closer to Heaven.

But at least the pews never attend yoga!
rainshower's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2001
Posts: 5,996
dear close friend of over 20 years,

what you do know is that i have two, healthy children of each gender. i loved both my pregnancies and am in love with being a mother and wife.

what you don't know is that i long for a third child. not because i'm ungrateful for the two i have. but because of a reason that women can't explain, i just know that three would satisfy my childbearing urges. just like others know that they only want one child or that they want only 2.

what you also don't know is that my husband, whom i love, respect, and adore, is very satisfied with the size of our family. what you also do not know is that he had a vasectomy earlier this year, so my chance for a third child is no more. i supported him in his decision because in marriage, you have to learn when to compromise and when to relent. this was a case of me having to understand his feelings and supporting him. after all, we do have 2 healthy children.

what you also don't know is that it bothers me to no end, that you keep asking us when we're going to shoot for number three.

it also bothers me that your relationship with your husband seems fake, whirlwind, and onesided. you hated him when you dated him. he made you even more depressed than you were before you met him. you married him out of desparation to have a baby because your biological clock was ticking louder for a baby than your heart was pounding for a mate. yes, i believe with every fiber in my being that you married this man because you saw him as your last chance in your mid-30s to have a baby and you jumped on it. the fact that you spent your wedding-planning time buying baby stuff screams volumes, especially since you weren't pregnant at the time.

what also bothers me is that you got pregnant on your first try and are making it your goal to have as many babies as possible before you turn 40, to make up for lost time, so you can have the family you've been fantasing about for the better part of 13 years.

what also bothers me is that you'll probably have all the babies you desire even after a 13-year late start, and inadvertantly rub it in my face. i've always been the one to plan and make reasonable decisions and sacrifices along the way, while you live only for you and always seem to make your goal no matter what. you are managing to end up getting all that you want, while i took the more logical and sincere approach and feel shortchanged somehow regarding a third baby.

what you also do not know is that what bothers me most is that after crying about being lonely for all these years, after crying about the possibility of not being to have children of your own, now that you are pregnant, you are obnoxious about it, like it's old hat. like you can't remember how ready you were to go to sperm banks, just 2 months before you told this guy you'd marry him. you are already complaining about how you "don't want this baby to cause you pain" and don't want to experience pain during labor.


i sincerely wish you a happy, healthy pregnancy. i know how important being a mother is to you. i just don't agree with the extreme and bogus means you went through to achieve this pregnancy. while i don't agree with your rash decision to marry this guy who from your own words, "wouldn't make a good husband and i certainly wouldn't want to get pregnant by him because he is so not father material," i hope that you find motherhood all that you've expected it to be.

curlies, can anyone top that?
"Dogs stink too, but I like dog stink." ~ rileyb
Don't ask me how much longer I can keep doing my job. Believe me, I know better than you how physically demanding it is.

My consideration skills are about average but my mindreading skills are nil. If something is bothering you and you want me to know about it, TELL ME. Don't sulk and then blame me for not knowing.

Don't ask me if I am going to get another one. She is not replaceable.

Don't lie and expect me to back you up.
I have finally realized I look my best when my hair tells me how it is going to fall, and I just make suggestions.

1) If you think your body is so fine to wear short skirts and/or midriff shirts....don't spend 99.9% of your waking time trying to pull the garment over your exposed skin while you're standing in public!

2) If you're gonna talk on the cel phone, you don't have to scream your conversation for the entire crowd to hear.

3) NOBODY thinks your kid(s) are as cute as you think they are. We don't want to watch them run around the resturant like they are at home.

4) 2 words - TURN SIGNAL!

5) If you can say, "Can you spare some change?" can say equally well..."Would you like fries with that?"

6) Christians take a stand! Respect all other religions/beliefs...but for goodness sakes, stand up for your own religion or those few who do take a loud stand will wipe out the freedom just to say "Merry Christmas" in public.

7) What the crap do I care what anyone else thinks about what I wear.
I'm clean. I do my job and do it well. I'm not sloppy. I'm just not trendy. Who says you can't wear crew socks with dresses?!

Sean "P Diddy" Combs must have a deal with the Devil.

9) To my 22 yr old daughter.... "GROW THE HELL UP!!"
To, D
moving out of a country isn't gonna solve all ur problems.
Stop passing by and slowing down to see what i'm doing on the computer as your doing now, and finding reasons to walk by every 2
SToP telling me to do things when u can do them urself
u tell me ur all about independance which is aload of crap, u've been in this country for 14 years. LEARN THE FREAKEN LANGUAGE. I'M NOT GONNA ALWAYS BE THERE TO TRANSLATE FOR U. IT TAKES 6 MONTHS TO LEARN A LANGUAGE. U'VE HAD PLENTY OF TIME
you can't even fill out your own bills!
You think your the smartest person in the world and everyone else is dumb. youv'e isolated our family from our 'friends'
and now the only time we go 'out' is shopping
on top of that i'm not allowed to have a social life because you don't trust me. why? no reason. you think i 'might' do something
My sister is marrying an indian guy SO WAHT!?!!
AND U WON'T GET A DIVORCE BECUZ OTHER PPL WILL COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT 'ooh! shes probably been sleeping around! thats why he divorced her"
very thick brown 3b/3c curls
Have you ever thought about looking at the other side of things? how about being less judgemental. I know it is hard. Everyone has been there. You don't have to use your intelligence against everyone. The fact that you cannot adjust to different situations, shows me who you are. Just stop being a self righteous, conceited, arrogant jerk. But you are insecure and you have to use something to make yourself better than others. You reek of desperation. A man will never complete you.
Carlos and Carmen Vidal just had a child
A lovely girl with a crooked smile
Now they gotta split 'cause the Bronx ain't fit
For a kid to grow up in
Let's find a place they say, somewhere far away
Dear Kim.....

You are STILL the most immature, selfish, petty person I have ever known. Stop telling people things about was years ago and you are still talking about stuff that happened back then. GETOVERIT! Our friendship is over....We'll never be friends again. I don't hate you...I just don't want to be friends with a lying deceitful manipulative witch!

And no...I'm not going to call you..... Not now...Not ever...move the hell on!!!!

Why don't you quit talking about me and MY LIFE and actually do something with YOUR life?

Try actually GOING back to school instead of just TALKING about it. You are constantly talking about going back to school but never do it. It makes you look foolish. If you actually go back to school maybe you could get a real job so that you can actually provide for the two children you brought into this world with no means to take care of.

Although we both know you don't want a real job because working at the restaurant is a real good reason for you to stay out a night drinking and smoking right??? While your husband you claim to adore sits at home alone with the kids you brought into the world and can't take care of!!!!

Also how about quitting smoking so that your children don't go to school smelling of smoke...

How about not carting your children around in taxis in the middle of the night from home to babysitter and then back so you can drink and not get a DUI.

So get started on those things and maybe you won't have so much time to sit around talking about me behind my back about crap that happened TWO YEARS AGO YOU STUPID MORON.

Dear Dad,

How dare you talk to mom like she is a piece of s**t in front of me this morning and then come home for lunch and try to hold a conversation with me like nothing ever happened. I am so tired of you doing this. I am not invisible; I don't speak up because you are my father and I respect you; but it is getting harder each time to do this crap with mom. Then you wonder why you have no relationship with any of your kids.
4a pencil-sized corkscrews that are low porosity, fine, thick, & layered
Thanks for noticing my hair cut. In fact, thanks for asking if I wanted it that short and thank you for noting that it was a "drastic" change. You know I did not want it this short and you did nothing to sympathize. Thank you for bringing it up the next day, noting that it was "Too short" and commenting that the hair stylist tried to make me look like a man. Also, thank you for the dead silence when I commented that I thought it looked good in an effort to spare myself from your tactlessness. When I added that "it takes confidence to have short hair" that was indeed a dig at you, someone who has never had short hair, who doesn't appreciate natural hair and who thinks long hair equals femininity. Thankfully that comment shut you up and you didn't bring up the hair issue again. Though you are a "Christian" and that automatically means you are a good person (in your mind), your reaction to my haircut was pretty rude. It's just hair and it does grow back.

ETA: DH, your mom is not a saint. I am not blowing this out of proprtion and I do know what she meant and how she meant this by what she said and what she didn't say. You weren't there when she said this, so don't tell me I am taking it wrong, and please don't tell me my problem is that she and I are too much alike. You couldn't be further from the truth.
my blog
Conde Nast, Oprah, People Magazine, etc:

Julia Roberts is NOT America's sweetheart. She's a played out horsey heifer who doesn't respect herself or other women. She's a husband stealer and a manipulative cruel woman just like her character in Closer. She has zero class and obviously can't pick a baby name to save her life.

Dear Sisters:

I'm tired of the infighting and the not talking to each other. It's over - dad left years ago and he's not coming back. He didn't want to stay, let's move on and quit replaying the past into the next generation. I'm tired of never knowing if I'm going to see my nieces or nephews and too through with having missed out on them growing up because ya'lls egos were tripping over some bull*****. Grow the fcuk up - aren't you supposed to gain maturity with age.

edited to add:

PS - SCREW YOU train seat hogs who take up a whole row b/c you need to feel like a man by spreading your legs all out! And have a nice day, old bag; you SAW me moving to get a recently vacant seat and moved there for the hell of it - you only had one more stop! Get some evening primrose oil, some hormone replacement and a new wig!
1. Please try to speak standard English. Don't say "I need to" or "he needs to". How about "I must" or even "he has to".

2. Also, it you want to borrow something, it's not "can I see". I don't know. CAN you see it? Try "may I borrow".

3. Try to limit the use of the word "like" to maybe one time per sentence.

4. Your big, fat puffy coat isn't keeping you any warmer than people in layers. And, your taking up too much damn space on the subways. You can't even put down your figgin arms when wearing that atrocious thing!

5. Lose the cigarettes. You do not look cool. You do not look sexy. You look stupid. Newsflash: They cause CANCER (and they make you stink. Yes! You stink!).

6. Lay off the fake bake tan. Last time I checked, human beings weren't supposed to look like crayons.

7. Don't ask me how old I am (unless you are prepared to tell me how much money you have).

8. To the men who ride MTA in New York: we all know that you can see the pregnant woman or elderly person standing in the aisle. Don't even try to hide behind your newspaper. Get your lazy azz out of the seat and let these people sit! You're going to be elderly one day and you will want the same courtesy.

9. Staring is rude. Don't do it.

10. Stop making excuses for bad behavior and encourage personal resposibility instead.
The first lesson of economics is scarcity: There is never enough of anything to satisfy all those who want it. The first lesson of politics is to disregard the first lesson of economics - Thomas Sowell
My feelings exactly re: Julia Roberts.
Also the NYC MTA rule applies to DC metro riders and probably any other major transit system in the U.S! Stop the rudeness!
my blog
Also the NYC MTA rule applies to DC metro riders and probably any other major transit system in the U.S! Stop the rudeness!
Originally Posted by gemini
It's enough to make me go back to driving.
"When are you going to get married?" I absolutely hate this question!! I am honestly a happy woman, if someone comes along then so be it. But I swear that is all some people especially women think about. We could be talking about a book and somehow I get asked this question out of nowhere which is the reason for the dumbfounded look on my face, not that I am not married!
Sunny is 3c/4a.

Currently using Jessicurl Too Shea conditioner with honey, RR mixed with CC, pure shea butter or Elasta QP mango butter on ends of hair.
"When are you going to get married?" I absolutely hate this question!! I am honestly a happy woman, if someone comes along then so be it. But I swear that is all some people especially women think about. We could be talking about a book and somehow I get asked this question out of nowhere which is the reason for the dumbfounded look on my face, not that I am not married!
Originally Posted by sunnygirl
Trying to find some sanity as I work on my master's in nursing...
You've been in the US for how many years? Learn English!
If I moved to France, I would expect to learn Cuba, Egypt, Arabic...
and so on...
OMG!!! Grow up!

Why ask my opinion and then do exactly what you want to do anyway and be mad because I told you what I think. If you don't want the truth...don't ask me!!

Just because I tell you I don't like the thing that you like doesn't mean I think you're wrong. You like it...I don't..nobody's right..nobody's wrong....we're just different. So why must you pout like a freakin' 3 year old? So now I get the 48 hour silent treatment. LOVELY!!!!!

Man this is getting old!!!!! You are the first person to start lecturing people about how they should behave and your relationship skills consist of pouting and the silent treatment. Real nice behavior for a grown-up. UURGGGGGG!!!!!![/i]
Just because I tell you I don't like the thing that you like doesn't mean I think you're wrong. You like it...I don't..nobody's right..nobody's wrong....we're just different. So why must you pout like a freakin' 3 year old? So now I get the 48 hour silent treatment. LOVELY!!!!!

Man this is getting old!!!!! You are the first person to start lecturing people about how they should behave and your relationship skills consist of pouting and the silent treatment. Real nice behavior for a grown-up. UURGGGGGG!!!!!![/i]
Oy vey, I dated a guy exactly like the one you described here for nearly three years. The silent treatment and toddleresque communication skills do tend to lose their charm rather quickly, don't they? You definitely have my sympathy, and I hope your relationship ends up better than mine did. I just wanted to chime in and say I know exactly how you feel.

Without further ado, here is my current and enduring rant (beware that it is a long rant, so to avoid unnecessary eyestrain, don't read it.):

Mom, I know you care about me and merely want to ensure my safety, but I honestly am an adult now. I am no longer the silly, irresponsible middle schooler as which you insist upon conceptualizing me. I am twenty years old and an adult. You don't believe me? Well, just pull out my birth certificate and take a look. You do the math; you just might figure out that I am no longer twelve.

While we are on the subject of habits that quickly cease to be endearing, let's briefly touch on your frequent shrill, paranoid rantings. Contrary to your allegedly unerring opinion, not everyone you encounter is a terrorist or rapist, not every girl entering college gets raped, and it is perfectly normal and healthy for a college student to have friends and a social life. Just because my cousins are total sluts and feel the need to frequent keg parties, get drunk, and cry rape when they get caught in unkosher social situations does not mean that I would make the same type of decisions. So stop making up statistics based on their behavior to try to make me agree with you, it honestly does not bolster your argument in the slightest.

Yes, I broke up with my boyfriend of three years. No, I am not trying to make him jealous by dating another guy. I don't even talk to that sullen, whiny little prig any more--I have let go and moved on. You might try doing the same.

Please do not tell me to stop complaining about my job until you intend to do the same. Hypocrisy is thoroughly unbecoming to you.

Do I really have to call you every time I leave to go somewhere and every time I arrive at every destination I frequent? Do you really trust me so little?

Oh yes, and telling me I am causing you to have a heart attack every time I want to go somewhere or do something is losing its charm and believability every time you do it. Every doctor and medical expert has told you that there is nothing wrong with your heart and that it is your brain that is figged. I know you believe that you know better than they do, but you actually don't know squat so quit your wheedling already. It doesn't work on me.

I'm glad you finally learned that telling me I am fat and ugly every time you get angry with me is an ineffective and needlessly hurtful tactic for getting your way. Too bad this tactic already left me with a bruised and broken self-image. I really do want to kill you every time you start that same bull shiat up with my little sister. She is not fat and neither was I. Do you really want to destroy your second daughter's self-image as well as your first's? If so, I'm here to tell you what a remarkable job you are doing.

I think all of the above are perfectly justified reasons for me to move out and get my own life. So quit trying to stop me from doing it! I know the original plans were for me to stay at home while I attended college since I have a full scholarship and can save a lot of money, but I no longer can tolerate living with you. I kept hoping you would loosen up and realize that I am an adult and can be trusted, but you just keep getting more and more clingy and overprotective. You say there is no such thing as an overprotective mother, but there is and it's you. You have alienated me to the point that I cannot communicate with you. Trying seems futile since I cannot get a word in edgewise. So that's it, I am out of here. You did a good job instilling responsibility and ambition in me, but you drive me up a tree.

Whew! Glad I got the chance to vent my spleen a little.
With your feet in the air and your head on the ground
Try this trick and spin it, yeah
Your head will collapse
If there's nothing in it
-Yes, I get very enthusiastic about the people and the things that I love. If my happiness and spirit aren't okay with you...well, sucks to be you. Nobody's forcing you to pay attention to me. I suggest you surround yourself with loving family and friends and things you are passionate about, then maybe you'd understand where I was coming from and wouldn't be such a nasty, miserable soul.

-Yes, you are morbidly obese. I don't know what to tell you. I can't lose the weight for you and the fact that ALL YOU TALK ABOUT is your weight upsets us all because we'd love to help you, but we don't know what we could possibly do for you.

-We're all scared of you and really don't like you. We're always saying we'd love to buy you a cat or a dog so you'd have something to care about other than this store.
To Joe:
You've managed to assemble a fine motley crue of followers, eh? It's amazing how accurate intuition can be sometimes--I knew from the moment I met you that something just wasn't right. You tried too hard, ran your mouth too much, trembled too much when someone proved you wrong. True intelligence, compassion, knowledge and experience doesn't have to be shouted from the rooftop at the top of your lungs; it's present in everything you do, it's obvious even when you're silent.

The only thing that's obvious to me is that you know full well that your empire is built on an unstable foundation, and that you're afraid of the day that it crumbles. A chain is only as strong as the weakest link, but I'm sure you already know that. Which is why you've made sure that all of your friends are strikingly similar to each other, so that the uprising will never happen on the inside. Which is why your friends strike the perfect balance of being strong enough to support you (if blind idolatry gets you hard, I suppose) and weak enough to go along with things they don't agree with. Like turning their back on someone they knew for three years simply because you, Il Duce, decided to end the relationship with her.

So, what happens when someone comes along who doesn't care about the high-school games you try to play with people's minds, and isn't afraid to call things as they are? Well, normally the person wouldn't be acknowledged by yourself or anyone in the group. But, my pocketbook philosopher, what happens when the person is dating your second-hand man, the person who admits that he's the mediator of the group, the one who holds everyone together? What happens when he falls in love with the person? What happens when he starts spending as much time with the person as with his cult--excuse me, you and your friends? And what happens when the person doesn't back down when you challenge her?

You might start to perceive her as a threat, and act accordingly.

If a complete stranger can come in, date someone in your group for three months, and somehow in that time manage to become a threat to not only you but the group...I'm sorry, that's pathetic.

But again, I'm not telling you anything that you don't already know.

To Jessica:
Dating the "strongest" one of the group will not make you strong. Hopping on whichever bandwagon he says is important will not make you important. You will not find your salvation through a man, you will not be completed by either Joe's penis or thoughts being inside of you, and you will not realize your potential if you're always waiting for him to give you permission to live.

Wear his clothing, stare at him with doe-eyes and listen to him with a turned-off brain, but don't you dare think that's love.

To Mike 3:
What can I say? I don't even know who you are because you're always hiding behind a joke. You do seem like an awfully nice and authentic person, though. Just remember--if people don't like you unless you're being the funny one, or the silent one, it might be time to find new "friends." And repeatedly ignoring bad things doesn't make them disappear--it just makes you avoidant.

To Mike 2:
It's a damn shame that in order to gain their acceptance, you had to act more like them. I didn't like hearing that basically, you had to come over to the side of the majority in order to play in their reindeer games. If it doesn't bother you, it doesn't bother me--just know that I'm more similar to you than you think; I'm just sick of selling myself short and hiding who I am so that I'm not alone.

At least they didn't turn their back on you and walk away like they did to the others who didn't drink the Kool-Aid.

They just ignored you for a bit, then sat you down, told you they cared about you and wanted you to be a part of the group, that they didn't like how you communicated, and that in order to be a part of the group you had to...

Are you sure that's wine in your glass?

To Mike 1:
I imagine that this has been quite an ordeal for you. It can't be easy for you to deal with the fact that the first person you've ever dated or loved seemingly cannot get along with one of the first groups of friends you've ever had.

I don't mind that you're afraid to be alone, that you're codependent, that you're a follower (and the implications of that statement), that you admit to having a specific leader, that you have done mean things to people in the past so that you can remain a part of your group, and that the only time you even thought about all of these things in correlation with your group was when I mentioned it.

I don't mind that you spend time complaining about the war in fill-in-the-blank country, and about how this-and-that regime is evil, and that you never do anything other than talk.

I do mind that you presented yourself as an independent thinker, someone who wasn't afraid to go against the grain, someone who'd rather be himself and deal with the external aftermath than be someone else and deal with being an internal traitor...yet when things come down to it, you've shown yourself to be anything but.

I do mind that you consistently proclaim to have a solid moral and intellectual code that guides your life, but your actions suggest that you will do whatever you want--or worse, whatever the person nexts to you wants.

You told me that you wanted me to tell you when I saw you doing something that might be unhealthy. For me to point things out to you that you might not notice.

I've already done that.

The only thing I can say to you is that I hope that you somehow find the strength and courage to deal with any issues that you might come across when you awaken, yet discover that everyone around you is sleeping.

Happily asleep.

Or worse, they've forced themselves to sleep so much that now they're basically dead.

You know as well as I that the dead do not like to be disturbed.

Either get yourself together, fight your own demons (you have...figured out...that this almost incessant preoccupation you have with everyone else's misery is an attempt to overlook your own, right?) and then prepare to defend yourself against bad things you've voluntarily let into your life--or just shut the hell up and swallow the blue pill.

I love you, but I've come too far...and have far too long of a road ahead of sign on to the type of b.s. you're willing to settle for and begrudgingly agree is ok.

You don't want to be alone?

I don't want to die.

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