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-   -   Spinoff: How many good, healthy relationships have you had?(

The New Black 02-18-2009 05:00 PM

Spinoff: How many good, healthy relationships have you had?
Romantic ones only... Out of how many relationships total?

And what made them good?

Kurls' thread prompted this one.

frau 02-18-2009 05:05 PM


M2LRToo 02-18-2009 05:16 PM

What = healthy?

I mean, I dated some *******s in my time, but I don't think that they were really unhealthy for me, the guys were just jerks and I failed to see it right away.

What = relationship? Number of months together, number of years?

I might have dated someone briefly, but I am not sure that I would call that a relationship. I did a lot of serial dating between 20 and 22, then settled down some around 22/23 when I met my husband.
Prior to being 20, I was just with one guy for 4 years, it was healthy but not towards the end.

Curlyminx 02-18-2009 05:53 PM

Zero. Zip. None.

I'm planning on the next one being good and healthy... for me at least (since i figure good and healthy varies from person to person).

The first thing I needed to do was work on me. I got a good start on that, now I just need to continue on my path, and the right partner will happen along.

...that is how its gonna work right?!?!?!?!?!?! :scratch::?:confused::neutral::eek:

MimsTX 02-18-2009 06:04 PM


I think that's a little hard to judge, really. I mean, at the time I thought they were fine. Otherwise I would have ended them sooner, right? (ok, well, in theory...).

I've only had 1 relationship that was REALLY bad and unhealthy pretty much from the beginning. That one lasted FAR too long, but unfortunately I got stuck in a cycle of emotional abuse so it was harder to pull myself out of than it would have normally been. 1 other relationship dragged on too long and started to become really unhealthy. That's why I stopped it. lol

Every other relationship I've been in has been 'healthy', it just didn't work out for one reason or another. But I still consider the guys friends. We just didn't have the right connection *shrug*

And the current relationship is pretty darn good for me, I have to admit. Though I'm afraid I'll jinx it :P

Mar 02-18-2009 06:05 PM

One when I was 18 and the current one:)

cympreni 02-18-2009 06:22 PM

I'm like MimsTX. I'm having a hard time judging as well.

I had a few healthy ones.
A few that were good at first but drug out too long and became bad
And finally a few that didn't get bad until I either left or tried to leave.

tc 02-18-2009 07:28 PM

the one I'm in now is definitely the healthiest so far, comparatively speaking ... although I'm still trying to figure out if it's going to last.

the worst was basically me living with a guy friend that I wasn't attracted to, and calling him my boyfriend, because my dad cut off my money supply in college and I needed a place to live for free. (ouch!)

then karma came to bite me in the butt and I found myself on the other side, in a one-night stand that lasted 9 months. I was a complete pushover and didn't require any sort of commitment from him before we had sex (first person I ever had sex with). my heart was completely broken when he dumped me.

rouquinne 02-18-2009 10:26 PM


RedCatWaves 02-18-2009 10:36 PM

One. My current one. What makes it healthy? We fulfill each other's needs, support and complement each other's strengths and weaknesses, and have a helluva good time together. No games, just happy companionship, and a great working relationship as we negotiate this corporation (family) we're nurturing.

wild~hair 02-18-2009 11:12 PM


WileE-Dead 02-18-2009 11:34 PM

lol at wild~hair
for me maybe 2? :dunno:

MichelleBFT 02-19-2009 08:40 AM

I'd say two. My marriage is healthy, so that's a gimme. In looking back at the relationships I had before I met my husband (all very brief and pretty much larks), I think only one of them was really healthy. It ended because I wasn't ready for a serious relationship, not because it was dysfunctional in any way.

maria_i 02-19-2009 10:19 AM


Originally Posted by wild~hair (Post 880864)

:lol:. Me too.

Speckla 02-20-2009 09:04 PM

We got to know each other emotionally/mentally before jumping into a physical relationship.

meryn 02-21-2009 01:28 PM

I think most of my relationships played out the way they needed to and were fairly healthy. Most of the time we just outgrew each other or changed directions.

My marriage however was HIGHLY toxic. I felt like I was in a chess game. My requests were usually met with anger, so I was always trying to maneuver to get the best results. The games were exhausting, and frankly I was starting to remind myself of my mom. That's when I knew it was time to just end it.

rudeechick 02-21-2009 04:04 PM

Geez, what a loaded and thought provoking question....

I will agree with the poster who said .5 (the one I'm in now...) Will need to see how it pans out to know for sure....

delete 02-22-2009 12:18 AM


I've had 3 relationships: the first one involved me unknowingly being the Other Woman and then getting cheated on, second one was with an alcoholic who loved me but loved drinking himself into a coma more, and the the current one is with a much older man who has commitment issues.

We're close to having a healthy relationship but I have to overcome my severe trust issues/neurosis and he needs to realize that I'm not going to go psycho on him in the near future or ever.

NetG 02-22-2009 11:03 PM

All but one, so it just depends how you count relationships. I had one relationship which started out healthy, and after a series of traumatic experiences he started being a jerk. It turned out the bad experiences were enough to bring out his PTSD. Once he was diagnosed, he chose not to work on trying to get better, and we broke up not long after. But while I was trying to be there for him while he dealt with his issues, it wasn't healthy.

The New Black 02-22-2009 11:09 PM

Heh, Net!

Missed you 'round these parts! How ya been? Where ya been?

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