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iamdeborah 07-03-2012 12:01 AM

Frustrated with frizzy Asian/Black/White hair tresses
3 Attachment(s)
Hello People!

I have three children and my oldest has some very interesting hair that we can't figure out, not even the professionals. She is 14, about to start hs this fall, and I really want to help her find happiness in figuring out what and how to wear her hair. She is tri-racial ~Afro/Asian American (Blasian) and Caucasian. Her roots start as a nice curl but then somewhere along the tresses, her hair turns into a huge frizzy egg nest ball/helmet. Her white cousins call her hair an egg nest, and her black cousins think she's got the perfect hair and would know what/how to care for it, but when they get into her hair, they realize it's not perfect and leave her hair style a mess for me to pick up and wash out all the heavy grease thats dripping out.

I am so frustrated because she wants to wear her hair natural somedays but it's just not flattering being a frizz ball, if she had actual defined curls that would be an ideal wear. She's in denial that she needs moisture and oil in it but she doesn't like the oils, and doesn't like her hair looking oily, but she don't get it that she REALLY NEEDS IT. She wants to put mousse and gel in it to go, like some people who can do the wet and curly wear, but hers gets matted with that junk in it too. She doesn't know where she falls into with her hair care, she says none of her friends whether their black, white, asians or mexican's understand, not even the other mixed girls.. ;O( I am so sadden she thinks her hair defines her, but understands and it hurts as a mother to watch her suffer.

During the school years, I've straightened her hair bone straight so she can look like the "other" girls but meanwhile it's damaging everything out of her hair turning it into a wirey broom stick texture and dried out-it's damaged. We buy and try everything in the blue moon that is priced reasonably but going poor buying products that just isn't working. I've bought Ion thermal straightener-didn't work.. I've taken her to professionals to do the Brazilan Blowout, Tai Chi Thermo stuff, etc.. and after the test strand, no one wants to touch it cause her hair pattern, breakage and what it does is baffling to them. During the summer, we don't flat iron or use any heat, she goes natural and it's not pretty-poor thing.

Her hair is thick, course, curls at the root (curl patterns between 2C, 3A/B) and then at the mid strands they shimmy into a bad over frizzed perm and at the ends their straight as a spaghetti noodles. Today she asked me if she could be a guinea pig for new hair care product even if it meant losing her hair for research cause she's so frustrated too. I feel bad but I am trying to be optimistic and strong for her.

Is there any suggestions or comments..? Are there any products or websites that have free samples of products before buying..? I've even bought/used horse shampoo for her hair, and that wasn't cheap and didn't really work either.

I've attached a picture which she'll probably kill me with her hair frizzy or before it's flat ironed. I've attached a 2nd pic that is more recent and it's flat ironed bone straight, my other daughter/her sister is in this 2nd one and her hair is perfect.

Please help us!! We are so open for comments and suggestions!! We'd be so grateful..!!
♥ Thank you so much for your time and help in advance. ♥

Wumi 07-03-2012 01:06 AM

Her hair is definitely heat damaged, from what you have said and what the pictures show.

If I were you and her I wouldn't put so much emphasis on her race to define her hair (clearly she doesnt have hair like her sisters, so being "triracial" isn't the best way to describe ehr hair type). Her hair doesn't define her, but it looks like you all believe it should look a certain way because she is mixed...

Her roots are curly and her ends are a frizzball because of the heat damage. All the treatments you have done on her are damaging the ends.

As far as her products, I would see about starting over and getting rid of the mousse and gel. I have tight, kinky hair and learned that gel and mousse LITERALLY damaged my hair worse than my flatiron had. They dried it out to the point where my hair felt fried and thinned.

Maybe you can try just not buying the mousse/gel for her anymore and seeing aobut conditioner/leave-in conditioner styling. Tell her to take a break from the sahmpoo for a while too. Try just using conditioner for a few days/weeks to reduce the frizz.

If her hair still looks fried it may just need to grow out until you are ready to cut it off.

bleuyteuy 07-03-2012 01:26 AM

I would maybe do a protein treatment for the damage and some deep conditioning. Also maybe try steaming. If I were you id do the CG Method its done wonders for me. I had a problem in my bang area where my roots were curly and the ends were almost straight. After being CG for a little over a week my ends are curlings now my curls have less frizz and are way more defined. I realize that this doesn't work for everyone but I really think that it helps to try something specific that has a pretty good track record plus its not expensive to do this.

Please update. I really hope it works for her.

bleuyteuy 07-03-2012 01:30 AM

Sorry one more thing. She really has to cut down with the heat. I would suggest not to straighten at all until her curls have returned and her hair is healthy again.

iamdeborah 07-03-2012 01:46 PM

Hi Wumi..!

Thank you for the wonderful advice!! I will take your suggestion not wash and just condition her hair for a couple weeks, but her scalp is dry and itchy, and quick to flake. Any suggestions for that problem..?

Yeah, she doesn't do the mousse and gel after that one time, it didn't do anything for her but made it real heavy and completely dried out. We are taking a break from the flat iron as well, but it still looks ratched.. I'm trying to teach her she needs to take care of her hair even if it's spraying leave in conditioner, and she's resistant to that too. Maybe with all this good advice from ya"ll, she will get motivated to help herself.

Thank you again for your comments. I can't wait to try it and see what happens.. ♥

iamdeborah 07-03-2012 01:56 PM

Hello Bleuyteuy!!

Thank you also for your advice too.

I feel stupid for asking but what is CG Method..? Sounds like it works wonders for you, and we are willing to try any and all sound advice.

Yeah, she would really like her curls to develop and be defined so we will put the flat irons down, plus thats my time off too since I do the flat ironing. Now this is may be weird, but her curls do get defined for some reason in chlorine water, which I am trying to research why that would be cause the chroline in pools are somewhat harsh, but her hair curls up nicely for some odd reason. I think she should get her split ends trimmed but she won't let anyone touch it cause her hair has been growing so slow. She bought hair, nails and skin vitamins just yesterday. When she was younger her hair texture was completely different than now. I heard when adolescent girls body chemistry start changing, it also affects their hair type. I wonder if that's any truth or if anyone else ever experienced that..?

I really appreciate your comments and advice. Please let me know what CG Method is, because we're gonna try it and keep you posted!! :O)

Thank you... ♥

iamdeborah 07-03-2012 02:00 PM

Thank you.. Sounds good!! ♥
Hi Wumi..!

Thank you for the wonderful advice!! I will take your suggestion not to wash her hair and just condition for a couple weeks, but her scalp is dry and itchy, and quick to flake. Any suggestions for that problem..?

Yeah, she doesn't do the mousse and gel after that one time, it didn't do anything for her but made it real heavy and completely dried out. We are taking a break from the flat iron as well, but it still looks ratched.. I'm trying to teach her she needs to take care of her hair even if it's spraying leave in conditioner, and she's resistant to that too. Maybe with all this good advice from ya"ll, she will get motivated to help herself.

Thank you again for your comments. I can't wait to try it and see what happens.. ♥

iamdeborah 07-03-2012 02:26 PM

Hi Bleuyteuy ..!!

I found out what the CG Method is.. Yes, we're definitely going to try that route!! I can't wait !!

Thank you for your comments!! ♥

bleuyteuy 07-03-2012 04:02 PM

I'm so glad and I hope it works. I always feel akin to young mixed girls who don't have a clue with what to do with their curls. I ruined mine from excessive heat starting around 6th grade then with bleaching from 9th to 12th grade. Don't be discouraged if it doesn't work immediately. Before being CG my curls did a frizz wave thing that looked 2b and took forever to turn into my 3b/c curls that I have now. Keep us updated. And it good that she's taking vitamins but she needs a lot of water too and I suggest vitamin c. I read that her scalp gets itchy and flakey. She can either use a clairfying comditioner or clarify with a low sulfate shampoo like one a week or every other week just be sure to pre poo (oil or condition hair before adding shampoo). Also to suggest some light oils id maybe do some coconut oil. Its not very heavy and unless you use a lot her hair won't loose greasy.

iamdeborah 07-05-2012 12:39 PM

Baby steps makes a difference..
Hi Bleuyteuy..!

The other night I trimmed her split ends off, and then we did deep conditioning and used some Pantene leave in conditioner creme, and we've already noticed and felt a difference. We also did the porosity hair strand test so all the information and forums are very helpful.

Thank you for sharing your hair issue stories with us, now we have hope that her mixed hair issues will get better. She feels like none of her (white, black, Mexican, etc..) friends understand her hair woes, not even the other mixed girls-so she kinda feels alone and frustrated. And we don't mean to put an emphasis on the race of her hair, but thats how she calls and sees it, it's through a teenager's eyes. She always says she wishes she had "white girl" hair, and I have no idea what that means cause we all have hair care woes, and I tell her that too..

So thanks again for understanding and reach out to us. We really appreciate your help and advice. I hope we can keep in touch. My daughter is your biggest fan!!
I hope we can keep in touch for more advice and stories..!! ♥

hairy situation 07-30-2012 06:57 PM

Sounds like moisture will help
I'm always amazed at how chlorinated pool water doesn't dry out my DD's hair but makes it healthier. I think it's just that her hair LOVES water and doesn't care too much that it has chlorine in it.

Since you've discovered the CG system that will really help, and you can wash with the conditioner just as if it was shampoo, so you could just try that and see if her scalp is okay with it. We've used Suave coconut conditioner as a "shampoo" for 10 + years.

Your daughter may enjoy reading Teri LaFlesh's story. She has a cool website and a book. She talks about battling with her hair and trying to "fix" it for years with heat, chemicals, etc, until she figured out what works for her. if you search on her name you'll find it. I tried her method with DD and it worked surprisingly well, but didn't really make sense as a go-to style for an eleven year old. Still, it was interesting to learn about and she has some great tips for conditioners that really work.

iamdeborah 07-30-2012 10:34 PM

Dear Hairy Situation~

Thank you so much for your response and advice. I am definitely going to try Suave Coconut Conditioner as "shampoo" cause she's been doing the CG system, but her scalp has been super dry and flaking like a snow blizzard on top of her head, so we can't have that.. LOL!! I just really appreciate and take to heart everyone's advice and suggestions for her hair care.

I will definitely have her read about Teri LaFlesh's story/book, she loves to read so maybe that will give her resources & support not to give up on her challenging hair battles.

Thank you again for your suggestions and advice.
Deborah :O)

robine.elles 08-06-2012 11:32 PM

Hi there,
Sorry that I don't have any hair care advice. I was looking for some tips for my own frizzy head.
But I do have a couple of suggestions for your beautiful daughter. One is to maybe have her thyroid checked. Thyroid disease can effect hair texture along with hereditary.
The other is maybe a change of hair style. Instead of trying to have, hmmm how do I phrase this? Main stream? Trendy? Oh, Ima just gonna go with a white girl hair style.. Maybe try something that'll not fight her texture, like braids or dread locks. My daughter's best friend & her family have
dread locks & their locks are beautiful.
Best of luck to you & your girls..
Now if you'll excuse me. I gotta look up & see what a CG method/treatment
is ;)

SpiralSpunk 08-07-2012 03:45 AM

While she's waiting for her curls to return or grow out maybe she can do braid outs. I don't know if you're familiar with them, but here's a few videos:

Basically after washing section the hair, apply a leave-in conditioner or hair butter (I see a lot of people using Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie which you can get at Target) braid the sections, leave it in overnight, and in the morning remove and shake it out. Personally I think it works best on damp hair. It should help her retain moisture too.

SpiralSpunk 08-07-2012 03:54 AM

Or twist-outs for more of a curly look rather than wavy:

iamdeborah 08-08-2012 10:01 AM

Hi Robine.elles,

Thank you for your suggestions and comments. I've never thought about having her thyroids checked being so young that she is. Thanks for the tip!

I have heard that teenager's body chemistry can do crazy things to the hair during and due to their raging hormones, etc..There may be some truth to that.. We looked at baby & toddler pictures of her yesterday, and in her younger years, her hair was like...Beyonce's, Taylor Swift, or Jennifer Lopez's all free flowing with bouncy curls!! Don't know what happened when she hit elementary..!! LOL!

I hope you find some good hair care tips here, this site has been wonderful with the knowledge & support, and advice from others.

Keep me posted on what you find that works for you!! Good-Luck! ;O)

Thanks again!! ♥

iamdeborah 08-08-2012 10:07 AM

Hi SpiralSpunk,

Thank you for the braiding, twisty tips and posting the video for us. She does like it when I braid her hair over night, and then release them the next day because the curls are so defined & wavy. I'm going to go find some Shea butter today, I've got a Target..!! :O)

Thanks so much!! ♥

mycurlytresses 08-11-2012 04:40 PM

Teri Laflesh has a website that explains her method.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I777 using CurlTalk App

iamdeborah 08-11-2012 05:25 PM

Hello mycurlytresses,

Thank you for the website link to Teri Laflesh's method. I'm sure that will come in hand for me.

Much appreciated..♥

mycurlytresses 08-11-2012 09:05 PM

You're welcome. I'm currently doing the Curly Girl Method but have read Teri LaFlesh's info on her site and it is very informative. She has videos on there showing the method, recommended products for rinsing, recommended products for combing (recommends using the Denman brush), has Q&As, and has pics of her growing up. Both Curly Girl and Tightly Curly both recommend using conditioner for co-washing and as a leave-in. The main difference is Curly Girl recommends no silicones and Tightly Curly is okay with water soluble silicones. Hope one of the methods helps! Also look at people's videos on YouTube to get an idea of how it's working for others. Wishing you the best.

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