What to do
My name is Anaika (uh-NY-kuh)So I have always been natural. I have never relaxed my hair, my mom would always put my hair in protective styles when I was little and would always say " When shes 15 I will let her decide weather she wants a perm or not", but by the time I was in 8th grade I started to really wear out my curls, I would straighten here and there but I would always use heat protector and never have a big issue after going back to curly hair. I didn't really know much about curly hair but I eventually got the hang of it.I had big beautiful curls, I loved my hair , it got to a point where I would NEVER straighten it.But eventually I started to get bored with my hair and feel insecure. Id see all these girls in high school doing different things with their hair, and I felt stuck in my usual curls. sometimes I would want to do crotchet braids or twist or w.e but I would either not have the money, I wouldn't want to take that risk because I really didn't know how it would look on me, or my bf didn't really like the styles. eventually I decided to do an ombre. everyone was doing it, it looked good on everyone and it was affordable to do on my own, and if i didn't like it I could just cut my hair. so I bleached my hairI liked how it look but eventually, my ends felt crisp, the color went kinda ugly after a while, and the thought of not having 100% virgin hair anymore for a style that I wasn't very much happy with drove me crazy. I kept telling myself I was going to cut it off but I never did and it just got worse from there.I got a new hair straightener, and I went crazy with it. Not straightening my hair for so long gave me a different appeal, the ombre looked so much better with my hair straight too.Im in my senior year of high school, Im almost off to college, and I was in a mindset where I thought that I needed to start looking more professional, thats what my mom and aunts would always say, so I kept straightening and straightening. I wouldn't care, I would straighten my hair damp with absolutely NO PRODUCT, nothing at all. and in the back of my head I knew it was a mistake but I still continued to straighten it. when I wanted my curls back it looked nothing like before. Most of my hair in the back is completely straight and will not curl,and the few curls that are still curly aren't even my curl patter, my curl patter has completely changed, my edges are straight , I have no volume. My favorite part about my hair was it had a lot of volume like I was the curly girl who would embrace her frizz, and now my hair is so lifeless.I do regular protein and deep conditioning treatments, I have trimmed most of the bleach out, and my hair is still so bad that i just don't know what to do anymore. it falls out ALOT, no matter what, if i touch, wash it, w.e I do my hair falls out in big chunks. I've been thinking about the big chop, but that will be the very first time I cut my hair in such a big amount, not only that GRADUATION IS THREE MONTHS AWAY. Im desperate and idk what to do, or if i should just go ahead and do the big chop. Ive always had depression and insecurities and anxiety, and this has been such a set back. I have felt even more depressed because I have lost the only one thing that made me beautiful. If I dont cut my hair I feel like my hair will eventually all fall out to the point where im going to HAVE TO cut my hair, and if I do cut my hair then I most likely will isolate myself more than what i have already done.W.e advice you can provide would be soo much appreciated.