How do I go about my hair journey?

I did my big chop back in February last year (2016). A year later, I still have no idea how to go about this. My mother is no help because we have different hair (4c) and she doesn't bother much about educating herself about natural hair. We are still deciding which products work and it's getting annoying spending all this money on products with little to no results. They all promise the same thing yet do not deliver. A little bit more about my hair: (help me figure out) I am not too sure about my hair type. I'm definitely not a 4c because my hair is looser than my mother's. When wet, my hair clumps up yet I have S shapes curls around the head. My hair is frizzy so definition is pretty hard for me (how do I beat this?) I believe my sides are more coarse than any other parts of my hair. The shrinkage is crazy and there is very little curl definition and it does not retain moisture as well as the rest of my hair (I believe this is the only 4c part of my head)The top of my head is where most of my curls are. I spot very loose curls (3c perhaps) around my head as well but it's very rare and only shows when it's wet. The top of my head is where I spot most of my S shaped curls and so I believe I have 4a/b/c...can someone please be more specific (hair typing systems aren't helpfull because they don't really help people who have multiple hair patterns) (More characteristics to help): *loves water (my twist outs look so cute)*if not stretched, when I pick it out it shrinks and everything is densly packed together but the curls are there, covered in frizz *low porosity *wiry/spongeySo to get to my questions: #1. What products help to define curls? #2. What techniques define curls? (I own a denman) #3. How to use leave in conditioner without it flaking (always flakes in my hair) #4. How to reduce / stop frizz? #5. What promotes hair growth? #6. What is a great product that works for all hair types? #7. Can you help me determine my hair type based on the information given? #8. Any other tips to help mositurize, retain length (without wash n' go!) and get curl definition without frizzing. If anyone could help me out that would be great...struggling.

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