I'm so lost with my curly hair, I'm trying to go natural but I feel so alone.

I'm a mixed baby, and I have 3a/3b curls. I'm only 15, but I've gotten two Keratin Blowouts, with years in between each other. I was bullied when I was in elementary school and all the boys use to call me medusa. I guess that's when I started to hate my hair. I'd look at all my friends with their flat shiny hair and I'd just be jealous and sad, so I hid my frizzy curls in a braid. I moved and a family friend did a Keratin Blowout for me, and bought me a flat iron (my mom had never told me about them previously) and I was hooked. I straightened my hair every week once a week and it stayed mostly healthy for about a year after the blowout. The second year, I started to notice the dead ends, and the frizz, and the overall damage that I had done to my hair. Over the summer I chopped my hair from waist length to shoulder length and I wanted to keep it curly. But I had no idea what to do. I asked my mom, but her idea of a cute hairstyle does not work for me. I went back to flat ironing my hair and now I'm back in the same situation, (I got another blowout 6 months ago) except my hairs shorter, so chopping it off will just hurt me. My hair is so frizzy and damaged and my curls don't stay curled no matter what product I use. They just poof up into a giant frizz ball. I'm planning on getting it trimmed, don't worry, but it hurts so much that I only get compliments when I flat iron my hair. It's been a long time since I've actually worn my hair curly to school and it just poofs up so I tuck it into a short ratty looking side braid that isn't attractive. I'm really lost, and I just feel really alone. If anyone reads this rant or could share some words of wisdom I'd seriously appreciate it.

4 Answers

Aw i used to be the same way as you when i was your age (I'm 21 now). I damaged my hair a lot because of relaxers & heat . I didn't wear my natural hair till i was 18 (i never did in high school) . I didn't know much about curly hair or products . I watched youtube videos & did research i came across a natural hair line called Shea Moisture ( Coconut & Hibiscus Curl Enhance Smoothie & Curl & Style Milk) . They are awesome . Also start doing treatments once a week . Coconut Oil, Eggs, & Olive Oil together are great . Stay away from heat & get a healthy trim. Do research & watch videos and trust me you'll learn about your hair . I've been natural for almost 2 years :) hope this helps .
You're not alone. I'm pretty sure everyone on this site has gone through this. :) When I was in middle school, my hair "poofed" up, I felt like Hermione with big bushy hair, and I had no idea how to care for it except straighten it. I agree with Koolaid...you should research some products for your texture, do a regular deep conditioning treatment, STAY AWAY FROM HEAT, and get regular trims. If you use sulfate free shampoos and silicone free conditioners your hair will become so much healthier. You might want to look into the Curly Girl method. Just google it and you will see tons of before and after pics that will get you excited. But really, laying off the heat is going to be key. Hope you're strong enough for it! I wish you the best! 
You are definitely not alone. I am mixed too and relied on the flat iron throughout high school. By the end of my senior year I tried to wear it natural and got teased so much... I was just glad to go to college and get away from them. While in college, my sister who was studying cosmetology cut a lot of my hair off, saying it was damaged. I hated how short it was but hey, it did feel a lot healthier. It still poofed up like crazy so I wore it in braids (meaning braided to my hair). Braids were fun because I could wear it in different designs and switch up the color of the beads. Plus I played piano so everyone said I looked like Alicia Keys and I got lots of compliments on the braids. Because I went so long without using heat, it grew to a nice length. So that's the key: NO HEAT! If the curls are getting out of control then play with clips and bobby pins to do cute up-dos. Also, a sulfate-free shampoo or cleansing conditioner worked wonders for me. Keep a hair journal too as a reference for which products and styles worked and didn't. Even if something didn't work like you wanted, at least you learned something and wrote it down so you know not to try that again. Hope this helps.
don't feel bad.you are not alone trust me as a little girl my hair was a little straighter than others but when i turned about ten my hair got really curly and people would say things like girl you don't have good hair anymore or girl your hair is nappy now and it would make me mad so every time i went somewhere and someone said something like that to me i would ignore every word.but if you are going natural here are the steps i followed1.feed your hair.use products like castor oil,fish oil,vitamin e oil,and almond oil2.protect your hair.do protective styles.3.eat healthy.you are what you eat.but if you are not sure about changing you diet take hair vitamins or boitin to keep your hair healthy.and drink lots of water and you should be just fine