(venting) My mom still isn't over me going natural?
At first I told my mom that I would big chop once I was two years post relaxer. She just responded ok and had nothing to say. But once the summer rolled around I became very impatient with my hair and I cut it at 10 months post relaxer. Only my dad knew at the time but he wasn't mad or happy because it was just hair to him haha. However, I was afraid to show my mom because I knew she would be upset even though I told her it would happen. So I hid my hair for a few days until I found her in the right mood. So I just came out and said I have something to show you and took off my scarf. Unexpectedly, she was infuriated and said don't talk to me your not my daughter, and didn't talk to me for a whole week until the end of the week she goes off on me about cutting my hair. Now its been 8 months since that happened and almost every week she keeps going off on me saying why did I do that, you had beautiful hair, now your hair is ugly, what are you going to do with that hair it's awful, I think you've lost your mind, and so on. Yesterday, she said to me geez, why did you do that to your hair? I responded well I don't know, just went back to the hair I was born with. She goes nope you weren't born with that you were born with beautiful long, shiny hair!... What!? I have no clue what to do anymore. Even my aunts try to tell her how they like my hair and that she should too. How can I get her to budge? Sorry about the long story. By the way I'm 17. Thanks!
That is one of the most awful things i've ever heard! How can your mom not except you being you. Don't listen to her and be yourself. She will eventually forgive you but you need to let her get used to it. Don't get discouraged! Maybe you could do some really cute hairdo to show her that your hair IS pretty since she doesn't seem to believe you.
I know this a year late, but you should believe in yourself. My mother sounds like she has a similar attitude to your mother. Hard to understand, kind of childish, pretty selfish, and no self confidence. She might be seeing you as a version of herself that she wanted to be, and she wanted long, straight, shiny hair. Now that vision is no more. That and maybe she is just angry that you didn't do what you said you would do initially and is still holding a grudge. (I am not saying that is for certain, it is just that is probably what my mother would do. I am basing this on your mother's reaction. It just sounds like something my mom would do if I was in your shoes)But most importantly, I know that my mother is an imperfect individual, and if I get mad and try to get her to act like the way I want her to, it will just get worse. You cannot control some one else's actions, and the only one you can rely on 100% all of the time is yourself. I know that my mother doesn't support all of my decisions, including me going natural (I didn't do a big chop though). It has been 3 years since I first started, and trust me, she is still telling me to go do a japanese straightening treatment (permanent, not temporary)(I am 18 btw). I know that it wont only be this decision, but future ones as well. The best that I can do, so I won't regret them is to hear out her opinion, do my research, and know what I want to do, and base my decisions from all those factors, so I won't have many regrets. There is many people who will support your decision,, mostly on this website, but stay strong, because not everyone online is all that understanding. haters will be haters. Ignore the haters, and believe in yourself.