Why is every natural remedy damaging my hair? (Long story)

i went to the hair salon in september 2013 to get it straightened. Lets just say i said goodbye to my hair that day. Im not sure if they put some kind of chemical straightener conditioner and shampoo on me because my hair is usually very spirally and curly after i wash it. When i came out from under the dryer, it was a big AFRO! Then the lady put some VERY thin blue liquid spray as a heat protectant. She kept touching my scalp with the hot part of the iron, when i told her, she started getting pissed. Some of her words were "Well if you cant handle this then i don't think you can get your hair straightened" i just told her to stop going as far as my roots so she didn't burn me.Anyways, from that point on, my hair has been getting worse and worse! I used to always use mane and tale since february before the salon, continued after and switched back to Baby Shampoo because It ran out. Okay. My hair is damaged, straighter and stiffer than usual but not unbearable. Then one day i use the last bit of M&T mixed with the Baby Shampoo because that too, was running out. As soon as it touched my hair, it was like melted! The curls went away! I was so freaking out. From that point on, my was more afro-y texture when wet and washing while the center front still had some curls. I go and buy Shea Moisture shampoo and conditioner to help repair my hair and it didnt clean as well but at least it wasn't damaging my hair. I feel like its doing nothing so i use Johnson's baby shampoo again.....whoosh, as soon as i lather my hair, it feels like it melted and the texture just changed! Its damaged even more for a third time! So, my hair doesnt even curl up when wet now, its always in a curl pattern-less texture, hard, matted, tangled, course. But with the right method, im able to hide that and do my hair in a nice way.So, for the last time (4/30/14) my hair gets damaged and also the 4th, i used a hot oil treatment to help my hair (Africas best, herbal oil) . I did as it said, i put the bottle in warm water, wasnt too hot, left in my hair for like 10 minutes. As soon as i put it in my hair, i notice my hair getting more tangled and matted and dry. I say to myself "c'mon, its natural and popular, it SHOULDNT damage my hair!" But as i take my cap off and *try* to undo the braids, its a struggle. I dont know whats on my head anymore. Im devastated. Its like a brillo pad on my head and its DISGUSTING. My hair is nappy now! Ive never had nappy hair! Its just not in my blood line (at least in the females, mostly on my moms side) and its scary. I was so tempted to shave my head. Id rather have no hair than nappy coarse hair. But ive been taking hairfinity and it would put 4 1/2 months of growth to waste, even though it wasnt much. I decided not to. Im planning on straightening my hair myself in 3 months for school myself. I know its not best to do on damaged hair but it would take 2 years to grow my hair out to a length that i wouldnt mind and cut my damaged 10-12 inches off. I cant wait that long. So, whats the problem? I wash my hair every Saturday btw with SheaMoisture and only use healthy products. I cant even comb my hair now, its that bad. Why did the hot oil treatment and shampoos i used to use damage my hair? All this started after the salon but it got worst the more i tried to help it. Idk my hair type. When dry and combed/brushed out, its a poofy wavy SHAPE. So "S" shaped. But my hair wont fall if i were to take it out a bun, its not luscious like that. I would say 2c due to the wavy shape but its not flowy or anything like that. Its not like "indian" hair at all. But it was never nappy until now. Oh and my hair has been falling out a lot. I drink plently of wayer and i eat rigt. Im stressed and have depression but thats been going on for a while, my hair wouldve been thinning 3 years ago then. Im 16.In the photos, it was in a style after washing, both are damaged but the one on the right was even more damaged (currently).So my natural hair was even nicer before it got damaged at all. Its VERY devastating for me.

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