Curly haired boy with possible 3C Hair looking for dire help with his hair, interesting story too.

I am a curly headed boy with what seems to be 3C hair and I was just wondering how the heck I am supposed to take care of it. The journey of dealing with my hair after I decided I didn't really want to cut it anymore and that I wanted to see what I could do with it and then cut it, into more interesting haircuts. But after I have started growing it out my lack of knowledge on how to really take care of it has caused me to believe that I may be seriously damaging it for forever. I am Puerto Rican and black but my hair texture has definitely changed over the years. I would say it went from nice and naturally curly and thick to now thinner, weaker, and extremely prone to breakage and matting.Growing up my family never really taught me how to take care of my hair. They just washed it, and if it started to grow past where they were comfortable I went to go and get a haircut. Now I am 22 years old and in an experimentation phase of my hair and I think I may have seriously destroyed it. After reviewing many posts here and other places I have come to realize my way of taking care of it isn't the best way to take care of it. I remember the first time my grandmother started picking my hair and I could feel the hair getting ripped out. I knew something was wrong. Also, there was a time where I was dealing with bad dandruff (I have sebbhoreic dermatitis now) and after placing the product in my hair she realized she used way too much and it took out a large portion of my hair mainly in the crown. Ever since then my hair has never been the same, and I have been made fun of for it as well.  Now I am trying to do stuff with it and I honestly just don't know how. I don't want to get it cut because as of right now the top portion is thinning a bit and my usual barber took it upon himself to rudely announce that he could see it thinning in the barber shop while others are around and I am so scared of going to another barber shop and having someone do the same. My hair CharacteristicsCurly hair, some parts matted, very dry thin in some places and very thick in other places.My usual hair regimen is Washing once a week with Shea Moisture Black Castor Oil shampoo and whenever it feels dry I use the Shea Moisture yucca and plantain conditioner. Oils that I use to prevent breakage and add more moisture is Jamaican black castor oil.I really hope someone sees this post so that I can finally figure out how to take care of my hair. I worry about my hairline receding more missing spots of missing hair due to matted breakage.if someone out there can help me I would appreciate it so much.

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