Detangling, Breakage, and Styling - Oh My!

When I was a little girl, I had defined curls. However, I didn't appreciate them and my mom pressed my hair regularly. In 2014 I went into the hospital to be checked out after a fainting spell and I received some IV medication. After that, I feel like my hair remained straight when wet. I read "Better Than Good Hair" by Nikki Walton in 2015 and decided I wanted to stop using heat. I stopped using heat on my hair April 2016. My hair is thicker and more tightly curled than 3C hair but doesn't draw up as much as type 4 hair. Basically, I don't think my hair fits a single type. I detangle my hair, but a lot of it comes out and my hair is shorter in places than it used to be. I shampoo with Organix Quenching+ Coconut Curls shampoo and deep condition with Alba Botanicals moisturizing conditioner every 3 weeks. I use a homemade leave-in (oil, water, and conditioner) in a spray bottle every day. I use Shea Moisture Coconut & Hibiscus curling gel to style my hair. I twist my hair after I apply gel or styling milk (SM Cocount & Hibiscus Curl & Style Milk or OGX Coconut Curling Butter). My hair isn't in a defined, shiny curl the way I want it to be. I buy products that are anti-frizz, made for curly hair, and I still haven't achieved healthy looking curls. My mom & sister feel like this natural routine isn't working for me, I'm wasting my money and I should go back to pressing my hair. I have always hated pressing my hair. I need advice on what changes to make so I can finally get those soft, curly, shiny, defined tresses I long for!

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