hair changing as I get older, can't control style and frizz , used several products no help.

so I beleive I am 3a or 3b.  Over the years I have left my hair "natural" over the summer.  Each year, it's getting harder and harder to find the right combo to define curls and control frizz. I used the Deva NO Poo or low poo with the conditioner. I put in a leave in condition and the Arc Angel for styling. I sleep on it and the curls are great in the AM but frizz over time. Day 2 hair is a nightmare that I can't figure out. I've tried re-wetting, I've tried the styling waxes and hair cremes. Nope. Just leaves my hair feeling crunchy, slimy R super dry. I've also tried deep conditioning treatments 1-2 times a week. Still feeling dry. This has been getting progressively worse over the years. Keep in mind, I've been dying my hair since 21 due to premature graying, am now 41. I also use a chii flatiron during the winter.  I've tried to use the perfecter for Day 2, but my curls are waves, not tight, and I feel like I'm damaging the hair even more.. And yes, I use the deva curls towels etc. Have tried no sulfur , no silicon, have tried Frizz ease but I can't find the right combo!Help! I have pictures to explain. What I really want is defined, medium tight curls that are soft and touchable with no frizz. First three are day one with deva arc angel : feeling crunchy but ok but the frizz then starts as you can see. Last picture with perfector

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