my hair has become hard and brittle, and i do have a chemical dye in my hair but i use something els

well i do have a chemical dye in my 3abc curly hair. but i did a honey and aloe vera juice mask about 2 months ago.  i accidentally fell asleep with it in my hair...so every since did i have experience hair loss, breakage, dryness, hardness and brittle hair...its not the hair dye because it hasn't bother me before...i use conditioner, i've done a hot oil treatment. and nothing works. i even done a massive trim... question 2 is i have a 5 yr old granddaughter. she has 3b,c hair.  when it get wet it coils so beautifully. but my question is her ends is so damaged and knotted it makes her hair texture changes to a 4a and b.  i've done masks.  i use oils and i also done a small trim.  but does her hair need more trimming because it is damaging the rest of her hair and making very difficult for her mom to manage it.  who knows nothing about the care of a natural hair child...sorry for the long questions...but you all have helped me in the past with my hair issues...i don't know who else to ask...

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