Why do some naturals get angry when you speak of defining your curls?

I used to be a member in a different natural hair care site but I left very quickly after I asked about products for defining curls on a TWA. So many people seemed angry that I asked with answers like, "Why do so many naturals want curl definition?" Or "Why can't you just be happy with your hair in its kinky state?" Oils like olive oil, coconut oil etc define curls so would they just prefer that we use water and an Afro pick? Why the anger? 

3 Answers

I have been wondering this myself.I think it's because we categories what section our curls fall into.Thus creating separation in the curl community.It seems to be a bit worse in the 4a,b,c category.This is just my point of view.I think we treat each other different by how much curlier or coilier the hair is.We get enough grief from people with straight hair,and relaxed hair.We don't need it from our own community.
That's because of that myth which says that 4 type hair cannot have curl definition. That's totally not true, since there are 4c type girls like her: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27NGx0h3iYQ who have more curl definition than many of 2 or 3 type. Natural curl definition has absolutely nothing to do with the pattern of your hair, but with how you take care of it and, of course, how naturally defined your curls are. The important thing is you don't let anyone tell you what to do with your hair; if you want to have more curl definition, go ahead and use products to obtain it. Just remember that if your hair doesn't have it naturally, those products won't do too much for it, but it doesn't mean it is not beautiful anyway!
This is because 1) there is a misconception that Type 4 hair cannot have curl definition and 2) it is possible for any texture to not have curl definition, and with a high desire for curl definition, it can appear that those with natural curl definition are being celebrated and supported more than those without curl definition. No product can give you curl definition. Only manipulation through styling can (e.g. braid outs, twist outs, roller sets, Bantu-knot outs). The absence of curl definition is not always an indication of health, even though it can be if curl definition is lost (meaning that it was once present), so we strive to ensure that all women with different curl patterns, definition and lack there of, feel supported in our community.