frustrated with color; natural auburn 3a-b curls, what is the best color to use?

I have just gone natural for about a year and a half.  I have been not totally satisfied, but I am trying very hard.  Its enough to deal with the frizz or lack of volume on top, now it seems no one can get my color right.  I am a natural dark auburn that has gray now..roots need to be done every 4-5 weeks, sadly.  My hair looks really dark in places then the roots look like the fake reddish color out of a bottle.  This is Wella hair color, but I'm wondering is there better hair color for curly hair that isn't drying?  I'm dealing with dry, frizz a lot and now being unhappy with the color.  How can you make sure they get the right color (I am brownish-red..not light auburn) and what kind is best for my kind of hair?  Please help!  I desperately want to be happy, again, with my hair without going back to smoothing treatments.  But, no matter what I will continue to cover this gray!  Advise, please!!

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