How do I reduce bulk and manage frizz!?!?

SOMEONE PLEASE HELP MEI hate my curly hair (I think it's 2C, though it used to be much curlier when I was younger). I try to wear it naturally and it just frizzes and turns into a huge mess. I can re-curl or straighten it and then it looks nicer, but I don't want to do that every single week. I use a non-sulfate shampoo, I condition, I don't brush my hair dry, I rinse with cold water, I don't dry it with a towel, I've tried silk pillowcases, every possible product on the market, plopping my hair, EVERYTHING. Nothing seems to help tame it. Even when it's not incredibly frizzy it just looks messy and has no defined shape whatsoever. Now I just wear it in a bun all the time :( The ends of my hair are quite dry and stringy and when I got a trim, it only improved a bit, it didn't totally fix the problem. I've also recently noticed that I have a bit of a triangle shape going on, though the widest part is in the middle and not in the ends. Every time I look online for a solution all I see is "get layers" which drives me crazy because I already have layers! I get my hair thinned and I can't imagine not doing so because it would be HUGE if I didn't. My curl shape has changed a lot and I used to be able to wear my hair naturally without looking like a total mess but not anymore... :( Does anyone have any suggestions for a haircut (I want long hair, so no short styles please!) Or at least any tips on how to reduce frizz/bulk in the middle of my hair. Or alter it's shape without heat. Please!!! (Sorry for the long post).

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