Can't find the right products - can't even properly type my hair! :(

My hair is consistently one of my least favorite aspects of myself. Each time I get closer to managing it, it does wonders for my self-esteem, but I still haven't found products that really work. It's super frizzy, takes forever to try and devours conditioner in the shower. The bottommost layers near the nape of my neck are straight, but everything else is sort of nondescript un-straight between wavy and curly. I'm not even sure what my hair type would be. I want products that don't feel sticky but still give me good definition. Please help! Honestly, after 25 years, I'm about ready to just shave it off. I'm North African, too, if that's at all relevant, and I get my hair from the Moroccan side of my family.Please please help! The picture isn't great but I wear my hair in a bun 95% of the time because it's such a mess.

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