After series of awful haircuts on my 3a hair, what do I tell hairdresser so it's not shelfy again?

I currently have awful shelf layers at the back of my hair, and I need to tell the stylist that I want consistent curls? I also want to be able to control the shape more so was thinking of some kind of relaxer? Not sure as most recent hairdresser said that the picture I gave her of the shape of someone's hair was impossible, should I ask for dry cut? No one seems to want to cut it dry? Is it not possible to get the shape in the picture with 3a curls?

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