I am 17 and need help my mom doesn't agree with me going natural

Hello :) I need help I've been transitioning for 10 months and honestly I feel I can't go anymore, I can't do any styles with my hair now because of all the growth. The last time I did do something with it was when I did a braid out around month 4/5. I simply pull back my hair in a bun and throw on a headband everyday. Well I told my mom I wanted to chop sooner then I planned because it was becoming hard for me, she didn't care. She said I was natural and I wanted to be natural right? But I kept telling her I was not fully natural yet I have to different textures still but she still doesn't understand. I tried going to my step dad and it just made things worse they ended up giving me a CONTRACT on my hair stating I only can get a number of braids a year(say I get it in January, march and September I can't get anymore) but I can put heat on it how much I want and obviously no perming it(not like I was going to). The reason I wanted to go natural was because I knew I wouldn't wouldn't have anyone to do my hair in college. This whole contract is messing up me and my mom's relationship, I know she is doing this because my step dad said so. Honestly I feel disrespected, this is the hair I was born with and my whole life I was taught it was ugly(I wanted to transition in middle school but my biological dad and my mom said it was ugly and I was pushed into a relaxer). Guys what do I do I want to big chop but I feel I won't have the support from anyone or have any styles to do. Btw my relaxed hair was always really long and thick, (well I thought it was until my natural hair started growing in) I grew it past bra strap before I decided to transition, also my mom let's say doesn't represent African Americans(even though she is) she always favored my skin color(tad bit lighter then her own)always said it was pretty because it was clear, she always had skin whiteners and didn't want me to hang around a lot of African Americans. Please help.

1 Answer

BHey, I'm 17 too and my mum didn't want me to go natural at the start of my transition either. I wanted to BC for prom last year but my mum criticised me, saying I was crazy and she worried about what other people would think of my hair. I have been transitioning for nearly 17 months (I didn't BC) and I'm starting to enjoy it. You can do styles which stretch your hair e.g. braid/twist outs and they look gorgeous. If your having trouble managing your hair, I recommend BEAUTIFUL TEXTURES; TANGLE TAMING MOISTURIZING SHAMPOO, TANGLE TAMING LEAVE-IN CONDITIONER, MOISTURE BUTTER WHIPPED CURL CREME. These make my hair feel super soft and it is a lot easier to manage my hair. I  know how you feel when you say you want to bc; if you want to, go right ahead! Your hair is YOUR hair and what you do with it is YOUR decision. If I let my hair be my mum's decision, I would still be getting relaxers. Don't let your mum stop you from bc like my mum has. If you bc, i recommend doing twist outs styled with a cute floral hair clip or something along them lines. Your mum will come around when she sees how beautiful your natural hair is. Mine now encourages me to do different things, try new hairstyles and products. I did mini twists which I have in right now and she LOVES it. As for the contract, let your mum know you think it's damaging your relationship and let her know that you feel disrespected. And if you don't have anyone to support tou, you have me! Good luck girly! x