Stuck Transitioner and have extremely dry hair, possible heat damage, need advice!!

Hello, i've been transitioning for about 7 months and I'm extremely lost. I've been wanting to just slap a perm on my hair everyday now just because I don't know what to do. I believe my hair has low porosity and it is extremely extremely dry. I don't really have moisturizers for naturals as no one in my house is natural. I don't have that many products either. Transitioning was just something I wanted to do because I knew that my hair would be a lot healthier from no longer chemically processing it.  And I wanted to embrace my natural, real hair. Right now, I have no clue what my curl pattern is and all i know is that my hair is extremely dry. it's so dry i've never seen it like this ever. its awful. and i also have weave in but the leave out i feel is heat damaged but I'm not entirely sure. I don't know what products to use to get moisture into my hair. My hair curls when it's wet but like I said it might be heat damaged so idk what the true pattern is. Also, when my hair dries, there is NO curl pattern whatsoever. Literally none. Well i'm exaggerating, there is curls but not at my roots because i feel like that's heat damaged!! but before having my weave in there was lots of definition at my crown dry and wet. but right now i just don't know what to do because my hair is too dry, it looks like a mop. I've never felt so bad about my hair. maybe 4c but i really have n clue. its coarse and dry. I literally dont know what to do with it. I dont know how to keep it healthy, i dont deep condition that much, I dont know what products work, dont know if i should cowash since i think i have low porosity? i wash my hair with this sulfate free shampoo from olive oils company and then sometimes deep condition. my hair still dries extremely fast! literally my hair dries in 5 minutes. i cant get any moisture into it! i would post a picture but i'm too embarassed. i'm just a lost girl who wants her hair to be healthy and moisturized. i watch tutorials and videos ALL the time. still just seem to be stuck in this journey. i want to go on a no heat 6 month journey but how would I style my hair? twist outs came out awful! so tragic. i want to eventually BC and i dont want to get a perm. i just feel like im too lost and a perm would be easiest. the picture is when i shampoo it. it looks very coily but only when shampoo. when wet looks nothing like that. 

2 Answers

Don't feel bad–I've been there! I encourage you to press on for the same reasons you started–healthier hair. Think about how at some point you were learning what to do and how to take care of your chemically processed hair. There are certain things you do and certain things you realized you shouldn't do if you want your hair to look and feel a certain way. There was a learning curve but you probably didn't notice it if you grew up doing it that way. Natural hair in my opinion is not easier. It is automatically healthier in terms of being chemical-free, but there is a learning curve in figuring out how to take care of it so that it looks and feels and is strong and healthy. Don't worry about your hair type/curl pattern or even porosity while transitioning. Just keep experimenting to figure out what works for your hair. The most important things to remember are to keep it moisturized and to keep it simple. Don't start buying every product you see and don't try to pre-poo, clarify, cleanse, hot oil treat, henna, deep condition, and style every time you wash.Just try conditioner washing to retain moisture. It may work for you. Cleanse with conditioner or a real co-wash product twice a week or more if you are very active. Once a week might be enough, just find what works for you. If you like shampooing better still, try moisturizing shampoos. My favorites are SheaMoisture Jamaican Black Castor Oil Shampoo ( or Creme of Nature Argan Oil ( or another Shea Moisture shampoo ( Whatever you wash with, make sure its sulfate-free. Only shampoo once a week if you can (if you are only shampooing and not co-washing. If you also co-wash, trade your co-wash for shampoo at least once every two weeks).After cleansing use a rinse out conditioner or deep condition (as often as you feel your hair needs it–at least once a month or every time you swap your co-wash for shampoo). You can use regular conditioner and add olive oil (or another oil) to it to make your own deep conditioner. ( a water-based leave-in/moisturizer (water is the first ingredient) on damp hair. A lot of people (including me) like SheaMoisture products so that might be a good place to start. I specifically like the Extra Moisture Transitioning Milk as a moisturizer. Then, seal the moisture in with an oil or butter, like pure shea butter (just a bit), jojoba, grapeseed, avocado, argan oil...To refresh your hair in the mornings put some warm tap water or mix the water with conditioner or oil (trial and error to see what your hair needs or likes better) in a spray bottle and dampen your hair to make it easier to fluff it back up after sleeping on it. Sleep on a satin pillowcase or with your hair covered with a satin cap.I know it can be confusing and a lot to figure out, to see what works for your hair, but keep trying, do your research online, on youTube for product reviews, regimens and tips. Again, just keep your regimen as simple as possible and learn how to keep your hair moisturized, and which products are working and which ones aren't.If you don't want to big chop yet, you may continue to slowly trim the ends until you are confident about the length. You can do some curly, transitioning styles (braid-outs: braid your hair and then take it out when dry for a curly look; roller sets...use youtube tutorials as a guide :) while you still have some length.Transitioning and hair care info: hope that helps!
I am transitioning and recently took my hair out of braids. My hair was acting up, would dry in seconds and refused to stretch even when braided over night, especially after wash day.Here's what I did to get my hair to stop being dry.I sprayed my hair with water.I sectioned off into four. Applied Blue Magic- yes, GREASE. Any old hair grease, to each section.I applied some African Pride Leave In to the ends of the sections.I put the sections into little braids and bantu knotted them. So I took a braids, twisted it in one direction till it started to twist on itself and then carried on twisting in that direction to make a 'knot'.I did that all over my head.Then I put a plastic cap on my head for 2 hrs before bed.Took it off and put my scarf on- went to sleep.Next day, my hair was transformed. It was so soft, easy to comb. I used to get knots which turned into balls in the middle of my hair, it was constantly dry.All of that disappeared.I'm 10 months into transitioning and that's the quickest I've ever got my hair back to decent moisture level.Don't give up! You've made it 7months already!