Went short again and I am determined to make this work and not give up- but I need some advice.

This[2] is what my hair looked like a year ago , but more 3A goldilocks ringlets and not as dense (closest photo to my former hair that I could find is this: http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/3/145069-need-hair-twin.html). I now have a mixture of 2 and 3, shoulder length dirty blonde hair. It is prone to frizz and fairly porous. I am medium all the way around in thickness and density. A week ago, I decided  I would try to go short again after a disastrous attempt a couple of years ago. They took off seven inches, and I am back to where I started. They gave me tons of great advice and a wonderful cut and style (I went to a very, very well-known and talented hairstylist), but I had a hard time absorbing all of the information and feel more confused than before. My hair has no defined curl and with recent weight gain the overall look is really masculine when I just let it air dry. It also makes my face look even more round which is NOT (and I mean NOT) what I want at all. The strangest part of this is that the curls pictured above have basically disappeared. My hair goes totally limp and doesn't form or hold any strong curl even when styled. I use the DevaCurl method. I shower and co-wash (twice a week) with the NoPoo and conditioner. When styling, I twist in the gel while still wet (and quite alot of it) all in the same direction and let it air dry or lightly scrunch it up into the scalp with a microfiber towel. I will wet it with a spray bottle and finger-comb in some more conditioner if I need to, which usually doesn't do much. So what follows is ponytails. Ponytails and buns again, and again, and again. My hair also becomes oily/greasy from too much conditioning or product really quickly, but goes to total frizz if I don't load it with conditioner and leave most of it in, so I am having a tough time finding a balance on how much conditioner I should be putting in and how much I should wash out. What I am looking for is advice on how to treat and style this hair so that I can achieve or enhance and HOLD defined curls (never thought I would say that before). I am looking for tighter curls but not huge hair. I also know that I am doing some things wrong or missing some steps in general and would love any suggestions on extra steps or products that may be helpful. I have basically been following what it says in the DevaCurl book that came with the starter kit. Most guides and videos I have found either concentrate on long hair or hair that is WAY curlier than mine.Thank you for your help!

2 Answers

Have you tried different conditioners? It may be a matter of finding the right conditioner for you. Also, you should go back to that stylist for a review of the advice they gave you. It is hard to take in a ton of info at once. Have you tried diffusing your hair to about 75% dry and then letting it air dry the rest? Do you finger twist clumps into your hair when it's wet? Do you use leave in conditioner? 
If you're looking for hold, try styling your hair with a conditioning gel, then blowdrying it while scrunching. Ask your stylist for products he would recommend for weightless conditioners that seals in moisture.