Little sister 14 has thick coarse unrly hair,curly=wet/conditioned ucombable=dry.Nothing works,HELP

Her hair is thick, coarse, curly when wet with conditioner, nappy tangled amd uncomable when dry (i go from tip to root). It wont grow it feel like straw my mom just wants to straighten it. Her hair is so thick that when she washes it its still dirty. I shampooed it today and did it in sections and was able to thoroughly clean it. What can i use for her hair to make it more manageble and look healthy. P.S. she puts heat in her hair all the time amd has little to no damage her hair still curls and resists products almost like oil resists water, it also has major shrikage then length when you pull it out

2 Answers

It's wonderful that you want to help your sister out! First, be sure that the shampoo you are using does not have sulfates in it. Those can really dry out her hair. Some shampoos without sulfates are Bigen Protect and Repair Shampoo, Creme of Nature Argan Oil shampoo and any of the SheaMoisture shampoos. Washing it in sections is the best way to do it, so it's good that you've done it that way. She can learn to do it herself as well, by putting each section into a braid (large sections, but small enough to make each one easy to handle. She can also use ponytail holders or hair clips to separate the sections instead or re-braiding throughout the following routine). Completely wet the first section. Wash by concentrating on the scalp, massage (with fingers, don't scratch) massage the shampoo into the scalp to remove dirt and oil. Do not scrub the hair with shampoo, but smooth the lather from the scalp through the hair from root to tip. If you need to add shampoo add a little in your hand, lather between the hands and smooth and finger comb gently through the hair. If the hair isn't slippery enough to finger comb through you can even add a bit of conditioner and/or start rinsing it so that the water helps the process. After shampooing, add conditioner to that first section and then braid it back up to keep it from tangling and shrinking. SheaMoisture also has good conditioners, Bigen Repair and Protect Deep Conditioner is good too. Nubian Heritage is another good product line for cleansers and conditioners. I encourage you to use a deep conditioner/treatment for extra moisture. When finished with all the sections (they should all be braided, not in hair clips if she has been using clips instead of braiding, and coated with lots of conditioner) let the conditioner sit with a plastic processing cap or shower cap or plastic bag tied around her head for about 10-15 minutes or more. If she does this routine in the shower, she can just use that time to finish washing up in the shower. Next, she should rinse each section, one at a time. Take one section out, rinse and comb through with fingers to detangle it under the water (combs can cause breakage, but if you use a comb, make sure it is a wide tooth comb). Re-braid the section after rinsing. Do this with each section. To dry the hair a bit, use an old t-shirt (not a towel, which snags on hair and dries it too much) use the t-shirt to gentle squeeze excess water out of each braided section. Add leave-in/moisturizer to each section, SheaMoisture Extra Moisture Transitioning milk is my favorite right now, their other moisturizers are good too, like Curl Enhancing Smoothie. Nubian Heritage leave-in moisturizers are good too. Seal in the moisture by applying jojoba oil or grapeseed oil. You can get those at natural food stores or some grocery stores. Use the oil a little bit at a time and focus on the ends of the hair Re-braid the section (for the last time!) and let it dry in the braids overnight (cover with a satin cap or scarf always at night. You can find at Walmart or beauty supply stores). She can do the braids more neatly if she wants to wear the braids out, or do a few more sections of braids so that results will be a curly/wavy style when she takes out the braids. When the braids are dry, carefully undo them so the hair doesn't tangle. Do not even try to comb her hair when it's dry. If you need to "comb" to style it, use fingers as a comb. Otherwise, she can choose the following styles that don't require combing until she re-washes/re-wets her hair again. She can then leave the hair out or in a headband, updo, bun, puff ponytail, or she can put the hair in twists to leave them in or take out later for a different style. YouTube has good hair tutorials for type curly hair. Search for twist outs, braid outs, bantu knots, bantu knot outs and pay attention to whether they did the style on wet or dry hair. It's better to work with dry hair for the finished style so that the hair will be more stretched. To restyle without washing add a bit of water (use a spray bottle) and/or moisturizer/leave-in conditioner before combing (with fingers or wide tooth comb).She shouldn't do this routine more than once a week. If she can go for two weeks that's good too.  One more thing, the way her hair resists product, sounds very much like my hair, so along with the routine above be sure to use warm water and do not rinse with cold water. She could use the steam from a warm shower to "wake up" her hair after sleeping on it (On YouTube, watch nighttime hair routines and how to refresh a twist out or whatever style she has). Always re-twist or re-braid at night or gather into a high ponytail if its long enough. Back to the warm water, warm water will help to open up the hair strands to allow moisture and products to penetrate her hair.I really hope and pray that this helps and that your sister can find the products and routine that work best for her, have the patience and support from you and mom to care for her hair so that she can be able to enjoy her hair and that it would grow long, strong, soft, healthy and moisturized. Thanks for helping your sister! I'm a youngest sister...thank God for older sisters! Our hair is beautiful as it grows out of our heads, we just need to know how to care for it!
My hair used to be like that. I'll give you some tips to help with her hair. 1.) Detagle, wash, and style in 6 or more sections 2.) Dry hair with an old t-shirt 3.) Deep condition with castor oil, coconut oil, or a diy hair mask (look up on YouTube) 4.) Style her hair in twists or braids. 5.) Apply coconut oil to her ends. I hope this helps! Also, I recommend you look up hair routines on YouTube. They can be quite helpful!