what can I use in my 3yr old hair to detangle it without the pain it causes her, she hates the comb
Have you tried Kinky Curly Knot Today Leave In after you wash it? It's got a ton of slip! Also Shea Moisture Yucca & Plantain conditioner has amazing slip for detangling in the bath w/ a wide tooth comb.
I ran into the same problem with my 3yo. I now mix coconut milk (make sure to strain), olive oil & water. Mix in a spray bottle & fight no more. Because it works so well detangling time is a lot shorter as well.