Though not listed in any medical dictionary, and often “harumphed” by doctors, many women of all ages face a serious problem in their daily lives: product addiction.
In a 12-Step program, it is said that Step 1 is admitting you have a problem. Okay, I admit it. Now what? Am I ready to change? No way. Am I okay with getting rid of products? Absolutely not! Would I spend a good chunk of change on something I’m not even sure works? You betcha!
Hi, my name is Alyssa and I’m a product junkie. (“Hi, Alyssa!”)
I never thought it could happen to me, but it has and I’m here to take full responsibility. I am also here to help you figure out if you’re a product junkie, too. I’ve put together a list of 12 things below, and if any apply to you, it could mean that you are a product junkie, too!
Admittedly, this is my own version of a 12-step program—I don’t actually have a cure. Some may point fingers and protest that I don’t truly want help, and they are correct. I love my products! If you are a product junkie, I urge you to take full responsibility for your actions—and you may want to learn to love yourself and your cache of product.
Don’t look to me for any real help; I’m happy with all my goodies stashed under the sink, in the shower, in the fridge—wherever I can find a place for them. Plus, I’m busy hoarding more product!
You May be a Product Junkie If:
Congratulations to Our Winner!
Lana1026 – Who Says:
“I write out a budget for every paycheck that I get. I KNEW I was a product junkie when “HAIR STUFF” became a category of every paycheck budget. I knew things were serious when I would go on a spending freeze to help save more money, but then “Oh SNAP…CurlMart is having 20% off site-wide…WINNING!!!I have been needing to get a new brush, shampoo, conditioner, styling agent, moisturizer, deep conditioner, detangler, satin bonnet, and everything else they sell.” Sounds fair to us!
- You make sharing a bathroom impossible for any other person. You need your counter, drawer, cabinet space, wall space and even floor space!
- You have more product than food in your refrigerator or worse—you have 2 refrigerators to handle your space problem!
- Your day revolves around mail delivery and you are on a first-name basis with your mail carrier.
- You purchase products containing ingredients that you have tried before and didn’t work for your hair, but they might work this time, right?
- You have a product wish list longer than your grocery or To-Do list.
- If you share an email account with a significant other, you delete confirmations so they don’t know how much you’ve actually spent. Some of you may even have a separate email account just for purchasing products!
- You have products in your bathroom, kitchen, bedroom, closet, dresser drawers and anywhere else they can fit. The trunk of your car is even an acceptable location. I’ve even been known to use the attic.
- You shower as often as possible so you can try out new products and accessories. Fragrance rocks!
- You spend the majority of your day analyzing your hair (and skin and teeth, etc.) and considering what you will do differently tomorrow.
- You aren’t sure what you will have for dinner tonight, but you know what product you will try in the morning.
- You purchase products without knowing exactly what they are or how they work—but they have a great logo!
- Your monthly budget consists of bills, food, clothing and hair products, but not in that order.
Of course, like any addiction, the junkie may experience feelings of guilt, defiance, denial and the occasional confusion surrounding an overdrawn checking account. Is it possible that I will ever experience these feelings? I doubt it, because I am blissfully happy and secure that I have all the product I need—til Sunday’s newspaper ad supplement.
This article is meant as a tongue-in-cheek look at the life of the product hoarder, and is in no way meant to demean or belittle any addictions. This article is not meant to give advice.
This entry was posted on Monday, March 21st, 2011 at 10:32 pm and is filed under Products. You can follow any comments to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a comment. Pinging is currently not allowed.
March 23rd, 2011 at 10:23 pm
love it!
March 24th, 2011 at 8:36 am
If it takes four drawers and three bathroom shelves to hold all of your products and you have to organize them by product type to find them.
March 24th, 2011 at 10:44 am
I knew I was a product junkie when I was a kid and my grandmother started getting a comb stuck in my hair and took my straight to the hair supply store. When I ended up having more hair products than everyone in my house put together. When my friends and I get ready in my bathroom and trip over all my hair products. When I started getting my pay check and I had to buy hot oil treatments instead of getting my nails done. When people began to say, “you just bought conditioner! How much do you really need?!”
March 24th, 2011 at 2:43 pm
I write out a budget for every paycheck that I get. I KNEW I was a product junkie when “HAIR STUFF” became a category of every paycheck budget.
I knew things were serious when I would go on a spending freeze to help save more money, but then “Oh SNAP…CurlMart is having 20% off site-wide…WINNING!!!I have been needing to get a new brush, shampoo, conditioner, styling agent, moisturizer, deep conditioner, detangler, satin bonnet, and everything else they sell.”
March 24th, 2011 at 3:11 pm
When my husband asked me if I even know what was in the bathroom or stocked in the closet anymore and that I could open a beauty supply store if we had a major earthquake and trade for our survivial food.
tvollowitz at aol dot com
March 29th, 2011 at 12:48 am
When you would rather stay home on a friday night and try your new product than go on a date.
March 29th, 2011 at 12:47 pm
I Knew I Was A Project Junky When My Boyfriend And I Went To The Mall. We Ended Up In The Hair Section And I Sat Down For 10 Minutes Reading Labels And Picking Out Products. I Ended Up Spending About Half Of Our 300 Dollar Budget And Had To Make Up For It By Doing Odd Job To Pay For The Things We Were Suppose Too Get To Begin With….Ooops! Lol.!
March 29th, 2011 at 6:17 pm
I knew I was a project junkie, when I started to receive a box of products everyday for three weeks.
May 23rd, 2011 at 6:54 pm
Haha I’m the opposite. I hate putting product in my hair. I only use two products, a shine serum and a healthy hair protein thingy. And i used those about twice a week. But other than that my hair is product free.