Millionaire Matchmaker says men hate curls, but love-life experts share their experience

Patti Stanger

Patti Stanger

As Bravo's reality show "Millionaire Matchmaker" gears up for a second season helping the wealthiest men find love, there's no telling what controversial remarks host Patti Stanger will make this time around. It's hard to forget the angst and anger the show's star stirred in the curly community last season with her caustic comments about hair.

During one searing moment that caused many viewers to cringe, Stanger ordered women with curly hair to find a flat iron or they're out! She even compared one curly girl's hair to a brillo pad. Ouch! Men only want women with straight, silky hair that they can run their fingers through, the brazen matchmaker told the group of wide-eyed, hopeful bachelorettes.

But could it really be true? If a woman can't (or won't) crush her curls, is she doomed to be crushed in love?

We posed that question to a handful of the leading matchmakers who attended the Professional Matchmaking Worldwide Conference in New Jersey last month. Although the love-life coaches we spoke to showed respect for the abrasive-matchmaker-turned-reality-star (after all, Stanger is credited with hundreds of marriages), they were not so quick to quash curlies:

Julie Paiva, CEO, Table for Six Total Adventures: "Curly hair or straight hair is not the point. Men fall in love with women who love men — women who make them feel attractive, strong and confident. What men want more than anything is to be the hero. It's actually really easy to get a man to fall in love with you, if you just start treating the men in your life the same way you treat the women in your life. We're always telling women how funny they are, that they're so smart, they're amazing! But for some reason, we're reluctant to give men the same compliment because we're fearful they're going to take our power away. We need to show love and not be afraid of getting hurt — and get the walls down."

Paul Falzone, CEO, The Right One/Together Dating: "I think curly hair is wonderful. Yes, some people are not attracted to women with curly hair. Maybe the guy dated a girl with curly hair in high school and she broke his heart and he'll never date another girl with curly hair. But I don't think your hair has a lot to do with what you're looking for in a relationship. Whether your hair is curly, straight, blond, brunette, redhead, you should go for it!"

Lisa Clampitt, President, VIP Life: "Men look at the whole package. For my female members with curly hair their hair just fits in to who they are, their personality and their attractiveness. There's not a specific anti-curly hair [message from men]. It's really the whole package of who a woman is and how she presents herself. Take Julia Roberts. She's a really hot sex symbol for a lot of men and she has the curliest hair. But some men don't find her attractive at all, so it's just a matter of taste."

Bill Paye, COO, Romance Pros: "If the hair is long — straight or curly is great. My girlfriend has naturally curly hair. Sometimes she straightens it, and it looks great both ways. Long, naturally curly hair is a great look and I think most guys like that look."

Julie Ferman, Founder & CEO, Calif.-based Cupid's Coach: "In my Cupid's Coach personal match-making system, I don't see women with curly hair getting any less interest or activity than women with straight hair. I will say women who keep their hair long, as opposed to butchy and short, get a much better response from the men. But I don't think that it has to do with curly or straight."

Since it appears that many men are open to all hair textures, will Stanger ultimately soften her rigid-straight stance on curly hair in the show's second season? Or will hairstyles simply be overshadowed by a new controversy in upcoming episodes? You never know what to expect with Stanger, which appears to be exactly what draws in the many viewers who love to hate her.

Stay tuned!

Teri Evans
one time a guy told me on our first date "i should comb my hair" i laughed and said you never seen curly hair before? That was a year ago and he still is stalking me!

ugh! im so sick of these fake people! she doesnt know anything! she doesnt look very wise, how could people put their love lives in her hands?! plus shes not that good looking herself. i think peoples natural hair reflects their personality and thats what makes a relationship happen! stupid fake lady, shes got a fake tan and everything!!

WOW! And someone would actually allow this woman to match them with someone! Who cares what she someone else stated, she certainly isn't "all that"!! I have been wanting to straighten my hair, but am afraid that I'll miss my curls once they are gone. Not only that, my husband loves them! My curls make me who I am...Why does everyone want to look like every other girl in the world with stick straight hair?

Is it just me, or does she look like a curly girl in denial? Look at her poor hair, straightened to within an inch of its life. You can see that it wants to spring up and be thick and curly. I think curls would be more flattering with her facial structure also, it would give her a softer look. The straightened hair pulls down her features. Poor lady, she doesn't know the power of curls.

I love my curls they make me DIFFERENT! My hair gets me attention from men.That woman doesnt know what shes talking about.When I go out some one always compliments my hair and Ive had men practically beg to touch it!Shes nuts!Its all in how you present yourself.

Yeah really, like she's all that and a bag of chips. How RUDE!

who cares what a person looks like on the outside? a man could fall in love with a woman over the phone or on the internet, never knowing what she looks like. then he could see her and be the ugliest person on earth. if he was a truly mature man, wouldn't he love her just the same?

Honestly, who cares what men want and what these ignorant people in this article seem to think. Nice thumbs up for the "butchy" short-haired women, btw. There's a lot of stereotyping with these folks and it's sad because I hope the women who read this don't try to morph themselves into the cookie cutter woman that society tells you to be. Be yourself and know that not all people want to change you into someone you are not to fit an image. :-)

I once dated a man many years ago who complained about my curly hair. He had told others that he didn't like my "permy looking hair" and the fact that I was short! Uh, why did you bother with me in the first place, dude???? I'm currently married to a man who loves my curly hair. I have no plans to straighten it.

WHO in the world would believe ONE woman's unkind comment? WHAT does SHE really know? People are SO concerned about the outward appearance these days. The outward will change & fade. It's what is INSIDE that really counts for your mate..the love, respect and kindness you give to them. If a person loved another based upon straight or curly hair...HOW SUPERFICIAL CAN YOU GET?! I wouldn't want that person's love. I'd always be afraid they'd leave me based upon my looks!

UGH! I suppose men fall in love with leathery perma-tanned skin and a trout pout? Heh, doubt it. This woman doesn't know what she's talking about.