Patti Stanger Tells Naturals to Put a Weave in It

2011-11-18 14:25:11

Patti Stanger Tells Naturals to Put a Weave in It

The Millionaire Matchmaker sets another curly "straight."


Millionaire Matchmaker, Patti Stanger is at it again. The woman consistently insists that men don’t like natural hair – be it wavy, curly or coily. Women walk in to audition for their chance to meet the millionaire of their dreams, and they are presented with a demand to flat iron and get weave.

Here at NaturallyCurly, we have covered this issue nearly every time the woman makes a comment that isn’t “curl” friendly. But, heck, even we have to give her props for at least being consistent. We don’t think it’s true that men, rich or otherwise, don’t like natural hair – we just think Patti doesn’t – and that’s fine. People have preferences, and as for me, I don't wear me hair natural to impress anyone – it’s natural because I like it that way. It’s my body and my hair, so I'm the only one who matters. Done and done.

Yesterday, fellow blogger Fashion T, a loyal follower of “The Millionaire Matchmaker,” alerted us of a new low for Ms. Stanger. Fashion T was first elated to see a thin, beautiful and well educated African American woman walk in and audition for the show – with a TWA.

“I was very excited because this was the first time I had ever seen an African American woman auditioning with natural hair,” Fashion T said. “Brandy had a teeny weenie Afro, or what we call in the natural community a TWA. I was waiting to hear what Patti was going to say. I knew that from Brady’s credentials, she was a shoe in.”

But neither Fashion T nor Brandy were prepared for Patti’s response: “You need to a get a long weave.”

“I was floored,” said Fashion T. “Brandy replied, ‘OK’ and shook her head in agreement with Patti. My heart began to palpitate.”

"People like Patti Stanger aren’t going away. But neither is natural hair. The best way to fight opposition and incorrect assumptions is through education."

Fashion T, a newly natural herself, wasn’t necessarily concerned with Patti’s request. After all, she has seen the woman tear other women apart on the show before. What really surprised her was that Brandy didn’t argue.

“Brandy could have rejected the idea to wear a weave and explained the dynamic and history of African American hair,” she said. “She would have been educating Patti. The truth of the matter is that if we don’t stand up for ourselves and demand respect, we won’t be taken seriously.”

Patti Stanger is just one of many people who sees natural hair as a deterrent. To her, it is unkempt and unruly – not something a millionaire wants to put his money into. We know she thinks this, we have article after article calling the woman out on her words – and even proving her wrong about men not liking natural hair.

People like Patti Stanger aren’t going away. But neither is natural hair. The best way to fight opposition and incorrect assumptions is through education. The old visions of uncontrollable natural hair are worn out – it's time that we make sure that those who are not part of the natural community see that too.

And we don’t need to do this for us. We need to do it for the younger ones, those who are debating between their natural hair and their first perm. Those that we can still influence, those of the next natural hair generation who have an opportunity like never before to transform the world’s take on natural hair.

“The episode really hit home for me," said Fashion T. "I began to think about when I first went natural and all the negative hurdles that I had to endure. I started to wonder if other African American women who might be considering going natural were watching this, and became discouraged. I started to think about the image of African American women that is portrayed on the show, and how detrimental that could be to young women. For me, the episode opened my eyes to just how distasteful and judgmental Patti really is.”

Want More?

Learn more about Fashion T, founder of "White is The Dress Code," a blog dedicated to helping young professionals in the workplace.

Final Thoughts

What do you think about Patti's comment and about Brandy's response? Would you have given in so easily?




So, some guys probably do prefer straight hair. However, it has been my experience that most men like my hair curly, and women/gay men prefer it straight. I think curly hair is sexier to guys. But then, it just depends on many factors... Your hair, your cut, his preference, etc... I've noticed that she has said stuff like that before, about straightening curls, and it always just made me laugh. However, this week I was watching part of a marathon w/ my sister-in-law, and there was an adorable girl, I think she was foreign, but I don't recall from where exactly, but she was tiny, and had these huge, gorgeous curls, and Patti didn't tell her to change a thing. I was shocked! I don't remember if she was picked, I think I quit watching it, but it really just depends... I think if you just have, like, wavy hair, and don't make it look smooth or shiny, she's probably going to tell you to straighten it. Guys DO like soft, shiny hair, whether it's curly or straight, so maybe that's the difference? Plus, a lot of these rich dudes are nut jobs and just looking for a trophy without a brain. Maybe wearing your hair natural shows too much depth for them? LOL. I LOVE my curls, and would not straighten them for anyone, besides myself, and that's just because I like a little variety! I do wish Patti would be less mean, but then I guess they would kick her off the air? Oh, and all her new "enhancements"? Gross! Patti, embrace the aging process, it makes you look less desperate! I wish her the best, but enough Botox is enough Botox, you know? I think she would benefit from a little more "natural".
I am in agreement with rootz. Patti has a list of criteria that she matches the women/men against for each of her millionaire clients and when her assistants bring in people who do not match said criteria, Patti just blurts out whatever happens to spew out of her mouth in reaction. I know that ALL of these reality shows do A LOT of selective editing and we have no idea if this woman actually told Patti to “kick rocks!”. There are just so many unknowns associated with the tapings of these shows. Patti does not come across as an educated or articulate woman IMO, so her delivery is part of her just “keeping it real”. She could have just as easily have said, "My client prefers long, straight hair" instead of "you need to get a weave". It’s not always what you say, but how you say it. Patti could care less how her words make anyone feel, she is making money doing what she does. I would have preferred if the woman had not shown any level of agreement with what Patti requested right there with cameras rolling, which would have made a statement for all curly-haired women who audition or whatever you have to do to get on her show. If not for the cameras, I at least hope the woman didn't go get a weave and for all we know, she may have a collection of wigs and just threw one on for the sake of continuing onto to the "mixer" to be presented to Patti's client.
I saw that episode and I agree with one poster that Patti is looking to please her paying clients first... however, she also rocks hair extensions and she tells most of the women to show more cleavage, wear higher heels, shorter skirt, tighter dress etc -- and if these women don't feel that her opinion is valid, then they wouldn't be there. THey all do what she says in hopes of bagging a millionare -- which is what she's selling. So, while she seems to be anti-curl and her instant sizing up on the sis with the TWA led to the weave statement, at least she didn't say "honey, you need to go relax your hair then come back".
This isn't just about natural African American hair, Patti hates my white girl curly hair too... as it turns out - I'm not too fond of her stick straight, flat head hair.
Hi to all the beautiful ladies... I realize I may get a lot of flack for what I'm about to say. But perhaps if readers see it from another perspective our natural community may not see it as an attack from Patti... (Also note I'm not the biggest fan of her show) But on this subject I can't blame Patti.... Hear me out ladies... Patti is providing this service to these clients; who make particular preferences and references to what they want. A client may have a preference that he or she only what to date a particular race, body type, blonds, straight hair, or natural hair... Some clients may not have a preference at all and are completely open. To me the problem is with the person who changes to become that preference... At that point I feel self-steam is the issue and self love needs to be addressed. I don't feel a person should change who they are just to be with someone. Perhaps the young lady could have said I'm happy the way I am; do you have someone who would prefer a woman with natural hair because I don't what to change my hair to be with someone who will not appreciate my natural hair. Now if the young lady is not oppose to straight and is ok with switching it up then that's still her choice. By the way I'm beautifully natural and have been for most of my life. Permed for nine years and went back to my kinky curly tresses.... relaxing damaged my hair. My boyfriend has his preference... He LOVES, LOVES, LOVES my natural hair. Now had he wanted me to perm my hair and made it a deal breaker for us...then peace out dude. I'd be with someone who'd enjoy my lovely natural tresses. I'm not changing my style preference for no one but me. Sidebar... why should I change who I am to make other people comfortable; then that would make me uncomfortable.... Love yourself first....Many Blessings!!
I do understand t0here are some that want to be a part of MM. But the day I'd let this caricature-ist looking woman who is obviously out of touch with anyone that is not just like her dictate what I should do with my lucious, sensual, beautiful curly hair (my man's words, not mine) will be the day hell freezes over and I go ice skating with the devil. She has not encountered the right curly yet. I pray it occurs soon.
This isn't "the Brave New World". Not everyone looks the same with the same hair. Patti - Get with the program curl racist!
Her hair is so dated: flat and silicone-y looking. The bangs are also not flattering on her low hairline.
Patti needs to realize that unlike herself, not all people have to compensate for their unfortunate faces with perfect hair.
Miss Strangler is wrong. It isn't the hair, but rather the cut, color or products. Straight hair can also look bad if the above is wrong. She needs an intervention with l. Massey. Men love curly hair.
What A Baggggg. God I Hate People Like That!!!