Is the quest for long hair that important?

I think some women take their natural hair way too seriously, like a job almost. When I hear of expensive products, weird treatments and ungodly hours spent on hair, I wonder why.

Is the quest for long hair that important? Whatever happened to stopping and smelling the roses and enjoying our curls at all stages? You can’t enjoy your hair if you are constantly caring for it and never take the time to stop and actually admire at it.

Unfortunately for me, all of my days are fully booked, so I simply don’t have the time to pick up the full time job of hair care.

So here is the list of things I will not be doing because, I love my hair and all, but I really just aint got the time, darlin’.


I’ve never quite understood the point of this. Apparently some women do it before cleansing to avoid getting tangles and dry hair during the washing process, especially if they intend to shampoo.

When I shampoo, I don’t use industrial cleaner and I don’t use the entire bottle. Therefore, I don’t suffer from thirsty hair. Also, when the shampoo was created, the inventors foresaw this problem and created another wonderful invention that would undo any short term damage the shampoo would cause. This ingenious invention is none other than conditioner.

I refuse to prolong the washing process with an hour plus of pre-pooing when I can simply let conditioner soak in my hair while I perform my other showerly duties. I mean, am I missing something here?

Finger Detangling

"It’s like there was a convention on ways to make natural hair more complicated than it needs to be!"

It’s like there was a convention on ways to make natural hair more complicated than it needs to be and someone had the bright idea of finger detangling. I get that we don’t want to damage our ends, but unless I’m using something that looks like Velcro to detangle, the damage done should be minimal.

If you are a loosely coiled diva or thin haired naturalista, then finger detangle away, but tight coils and thick hair just aren’t really conducive to finger detangling. I can simply imagine the amount of shed hair left behind creating more tangles and the hours spent trying to get a head full of hair detangled with my fingers alone.

I live and die by my wide toothed comb because it’s just easier and faster. Plus, I can’t quite figure out if my hair is damaging my nails or if it’s the other way around, but either way that ripping sound scares me.

Layering Products

I love my natural hair, but I draw the line at lengthy styling sessions. I want to be in and out as quickly as possible because my idea of a good time does not involve spending hours in front of the mirror. I will not separate my hair section by section and apply layer after layer of product, then style it.

And don’t get me started on having to re-wet hair that has long since dried and tangled. To remedy this, I have searched high and low to find products that are heavy enough to keep me moisturized so I don’t have to use multiple products in one sitting. I advise you do the same and see how much free time you’ll get back for doing other, more entertaining things.

All Day Deep Conditioning

"I like to imagine that at any point in time someone will call me to go do something amazing and when that happens the last thing I want to say is, "Girl sorry, I can’t. I just put in this (insert fruit or vegetable) treatment in my hair and it has to sit for at least 10 hours."

Although I live a pretty dull life, I like to imagine that at any point in time someone will call me to go somewhere or do something amazing, and when that happens, the last thing I want to say is, "Girl sorry, I can’t. I just put in this (insert fruit or vegetable) treatment in my hair and it has to sit for at least 10 hours."

There are some treatments that need to sit for a long time, like henna, but for everything else there is only so much it can do. If the instructions say 15 to 45 minutes, an entire day will not make it do anything extra. All that oil dripping down my neck, walking around smelling funny and not being able to rest my head on surfaces would drive me crazy, so I don’t know how some women do it.

If it has to stay on for 15 minutes, then 14 minutes later it will be out because 1) I’m a good girl and like to follow instructions and 2) I don’t take my hair that seriously.

Final Thoughts

Now I know that many women reading this do the things on this list, and if you do, then that’s fine, because to each his own. But thank God that natural hair is a community and not a cult, because if the things listed above were mandatory, the creamy crack might still have its hold on me.

If you share my sentiments, then leave me a comment below and feel free to add to the list things you also don’t do. And as always, remember to have love, peace and curly haired bliss!


I love this article im glad I'm not the only one thinks some of this stuf for example the pre pooing lol !

I refuse to prolong the washing process with an hour plus of pre-pooing when I can simply let conditioner soak in my hair while I perform my other showerly duties. I mean, am I missing something here? I agree! Less is more. I get better results doing less to my hair.

I suppose I count myself lucky. I've adopted a low-maintenance regimen so I only handle my hair once a week on my wash day. I don't load with products, finger detangle, prepoo, etc. I just steam w/a deep conditioner, wash and condition, apply my butter and twist. Depending on my mood or how busy I am, I leave the twists in until my next wash day or undo them the next day and wear a twist-out all week w/o reapplying new products or retwisting through the week. I am truly enjoying my hair and am not a slave to its care. My curls last all week and don't require any mid-week touch ups.

I really agree with her... I just think some girls just don't accept the hair they have. So, they begin to do all those things to make the hair "better". I'm NOT saying this to all the girls, and I'm NOT saying that all the things she listed are exaggerated. I just think that we don't have to complicate anything. Just accept that that's your texture, and it won't change.

"...unless I'm using something that looks like Velcro to detangle, the damage done should be minimal." I fully understand to each his/her own, but why should any damage, even "minimal" damage be acceptable if it can be prevented?

I'm with you, sister!!! If I can't achieve my desired style with one, or at the max, TWO products, then I'm not doing something right!!

I'm going to agree with Fronomenal and say finger detangling works really well for my hair, which is full of tight curls. The only way shed hair will be left behind is if I don't take the time to get it all out. This may have something to do with a difference in density, but I don't think it's really fair to say finger detangling is making natural hair more complicated than it should/has to be. It really varies by individual. Cipriana of Urban Bush Babes has a huge amount of 4c hair that she only finger detangles and it's beautiful. It's fine if finger detangling isn't the ideal method for you and your hair but to say people are doing the most you do employ it is a little rude and close minded to me. To each her own.

I have tight coils and "thick" hair and finger-detangling works wonders for me. I do it with conditioner before shampooing (Is that considered a "pre-poo"...?). I also wash in twisted sections. Detangling takes long (1 hour) for me regardless of method (fingers or fingers+comb). Washing in twists keeps my coils stretched and prevents tangling. It also simplifies after-wash styling. It's not "doing the most". It's doing just enough to take care of my hair. I like to keep it simple but I realize that simple is different for everyone.

Thank you for this article! I went natural 2.5 years ago and my goal has been to get my hair to grow waist-length, however, the last 6 months or so have been really difficult. Just the other day I was considering cutting my hair back to when I first did my BC - even though it is now bra-strap length! While the internet now has many great resources for naturally curlies, there is a lot of unnecessary information and products that cause a whole lot of time- and money-wasting. Instead of cutting off my hair I have decided to simply stop stressing over it. I don't believe I have to spend hundreds of dollars and a couple hours each day in order to make my God-given hair beautiful.

Great article! I also have a very simplistic routine, and much as I love my hair, and want it to look it's best, I don't want to be spending loads of time (or money) on it. I can list on one hand the products I use, but I'm more than happy with the results and that's all that matters!

I have to agree. I got the book, figured after reading this I would know what to do and be well on my way to beautiful, defined curls. I find I do spend more time in the showering, tending to my hair. I no longer have to comb my hair but the time it takes to put on conditioner and other products in the "proper" manner to help my curls is double the time I spent before. Add to that the drying time til I can go out in public without a wet shirt or super flat and stiff hair because it's not dry yet so I can't shake out the hardness. Just explaining the process to a few other curlies had them exhausted and uninterested in the CGM. And I am still dealing with horrible frizz and flyaways. I too have considered going back to my old ways, alteast with sulfates and silicones my grey hair didn't stick straight out or look like a big rat's nest in the back because those things don't curl with the rest.

Omg I love you! Lol. I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks people try way too hard. I thought going natural was going to be easier not harder. Most days I think about just going back to straightening everyday because my hair looked better but then when my hairdresser said I didn't even need a cut because my hair was healthy I gave that a second thought. People make things way too complicated though. I don't have time or money or the energy to figure out how my hair reacts to every little ingredient. Thank you for letting me know it's not just me!