What words of advice would you give to someone wanting to adopt outside of their race?
I would tell these parents to see it from their child’s perspective. And then get advice and counsel from adults with similar hair and skin to their child’s. I was worried that my daughter didn’t like her hair because she was always pretending she had long hair. I asked a friend with similar hair and skin. She laughed and said not to worry. She did the same as a child as did most of her friends.
Sometimes you worry about things your shouldn’t so it is good to calibrate. I also would advise joining on-line communities or visiting sites that show you how to care for your child’s skin and hair. And lastly, never forget your instincts in knowing your child will also help guide you through what of the advice and information you receive you should apply.
I find my child is becoming a better guide as she gets older so we can work together and talk opening about these differences. You love your child and that is the most important. The fact that you are trying is what matters most and as with anything, practice really helps. And a healthy amount of laughing together and at yourself doesn’t hurt either.
What is one thing that you wish everyone knew about you, your family, and your love for Leyla?
Leyla completed our family and brought with her an amazing light and laughter and depth. Not one of us can remember life clearly before she joined. And through her coming into our family, our world got both bigger in that it included another country and culture and smaller in that we can see how we are all connected and similar even when we have such visible differences. She has the hardest role in that she has to navigate being part of a family and culture different from the one of her birth.
We are committed to helping her on that journey no matter where it leads us. She has an amazing heart and she has stolen all of ours. We are excited to see where her path leads her.
Folks can find me on my blog Ethiopian Ties, on Twitter or Pinterest. I also have two FB pages about our work in Ethiopia, Open Hearts Big Dreams and Create Libraries for Ethiopian Children
I also write for these websites Adoptive Families, Working Mother and InCulture Parent.
