Not everything in life will go as planned. It’s also about timing and letting things happen as they are supposed to.
For myself, career has always been at the top of my agenda--not motherhood. Fast forward to now: I am currently waddling to and from the bathroom and constantly, making sure to elevate my swollen feet when I rest. I am well into my third trimester and this is all that I can think about. Even though I am not due for a few more weeks, the idea of motherhood has magically shifted my thinking from me as me to myself as part of a union of love for my growing family.
After high school, my focus was on enjoying my life and not settling down.
Sure, love was experienced a time or two but I was young and quickly learned that I was happy single as long as there was travel, dance, or a party nearby. It wasn’t until my late twenties that the thought of having a career had even crossed my mind. I wanted to be the first in my immediate family to graduate from college. Partly, to set a good example for my siblings, but mainly to prove to myself that I was willing and capable of doing the work.
Soon after my graduation, another shift in life happened: marriage.
As happy as I was (and still am), there was a small fear haunted me: the pressure to have a child. It was not coming from my husband but the constant questions from family and friends rattled my nerves. Yes, the biological clock was ticking but having my career in order first was non-negotiable. Although having a child immediately after marriage would have been a blessing, the timing felt so wrong. As it turns out, it was.
Two years passed and I finally felt the yearning to have a child.
My marriage and career were in place but the experience of motherhood was missing. Sadly I learned the hard way that you can’t control mother nature. During our first try we experienced an ectopic pregnancy. Although it was a traumatic experience, in the end, it created a stronger bond between my husband and me.
It is hard to know what the universe has in store for you, which is why I am a firm believer in divine timing.
When the time was right and we felt ready, we tried again. When I saw the positive sign on my pregnancy test, the biggest smile appeared on my face. I woke my husband up from a dead sleep to share the news. Both overjoyed, there was no doubt that this felt right.
If I’ve learned anything in life, it is that you do not get to choose the cards you're dealt.
Even though our first try wasn’t a success, we are blessed with another shot of bringing a beautiful life into this world. While I still have some time, each day has been rewarding and opened my eyes to a deeper love that I feel only happens when you’re having a child.