Frustration and hair can sometimes commingle, as curly, coily, and wavy hair has its ups and downs. Right now I am weak from just washing my hair. Washing my hair! The tangles were brutal but my pre-poo prevailed and diminished them as best they could under my neglectfulness the past two weeks. Quite often the frustrations that surround curly hair come from tangles but not always, and those frustrations are not all universal. We all have our own struggles, but here are five of mine that almost drove me to a buzz cut.

When my hair had no shape

My crown is flat like a plank and it drives me nuts! I’ve never liked layers when my hair was relaxed, but it took me a while and a trip to a curly stylist to determine my hair was without any style. Why did I need a style? Because I was sick of my flat crown and lifeless hair. I was so close to chopping it all off before I channeled that frustration into action and accessed NaturallyCurly's Salon Finder and found the right stylist for me. I now have layers that give me volume and height and am very thankful for not having to cut all my hair off to get it.

When my ends were super raggedy

Now, raggedy ends warrant cutting, but I was considering chopping it all off because when my hair was in a curly state I had no idea it was just my ends that were the problem. I also did not know that my increase in tangles and knots were being caused by my ends, and that nothing else was wrong with my hair. I have since learned this was the problem and go for bi-annual trims, but when you are knee-deep in tangles you just want it all gone.

When I'm super stressed

First off, never make life changes when you are stressed. You are not in your right mind and you make hasty decisions you may regret. Stress adds no favors to our lives and that includes our hair. I experience excessive shedding after stressful times in my life, but I can also suffer from frustrated choices. My last stressful encounter had me really thinking about cutting all my hair off just to make my wash days easier. My wash days were not the problem. The source of my stress was the problem and when I realized that I nixed the haircut idea.

When I thought about going back to relaxed hair

I had a weak moment right before I started caring for my natural hair. I had damaged my hair over a three year period from neglect and wearing wigs and braids nonstop. This was over eight years ago, and while the natural hair movement was in full swing, I was not yet a part of it. I had enough, so I scheduled an appointment with a stylist to perm my hair. I showed up to my appointment late, as I got lost and she refused to service me. I was devastated. What was I going to do? I was caring for my hair properly and had no clue what to do. While I immediately wanted to chop it all off and start over, (whatever that meant) I instead turned my frustration to the internet and looked up how to care for non-relaxed hair.

That stylist saved me and so did the internet, because I have been natural for 11 years this September but have been caring for my coils properly for eight years. Frustration does not always lead to disaster and quite often leads to brilliance and a conversation with oneself on what is actually important. I remembered when I left that shop and when I stared into that mirror that I did not want to use chemicals any longer and it was time for a change. I did change and channeled my frustration into a lifestyle change that I am loving!