As single women, when it comes to relationships, we like to have closure and more importantly, to know where we stand at ALL times. In today’s convoluted dating world where honesty and transparency pretty much don’t exist largely due to the internet, free dating sites and cell phones providing already non-committal men with even MORE options, where do we stand? Let’s talk about some “dating labels”—words or phrases that define where we are in a relationship.
“Dating”: If I’m seeing someone who has “boyfriend potential” I like to say that I’m dating. “Boyfriend potential” meaning he has the majority of things on my “LIST.” Is he the one? Too soon to tell, but he could potentially be “the one,” and we will continue to “date” until I figure it out. To be clear, I can’t say that I’ve done very much “dating” in the city. I very RARELY click with and am attracted to someone and in the rare event that I am, they typically end up being unavailable and/or raising red flags which quickly down-grades their “dating” status. Is it okay to “date” more than one person at a time? I think it is critical to “date” multiple men. “Things”, especially in New York City, have a tendency to NOT work out. By having a couple of guys in the rotation, you’re keeping your options open, which helps lessen the disappointment when it doesn’t work…there’s always the other guy.
“Seeing Someone” If you’re going out with someone you know is NOT “the one” but you are sleeping with him and spending time with him, then by my definition, you are “seeing” him. Guess it’s a kind of a more respectable way to describe an unspoken “friends with benefits” or “hook-up” situation. I tend to “recycle” guys that I’ve “seen” in the past. They come, they go, but they ALWAYS come back in some form or fashion even years later.
“Boyfriend” Actions speak louder than words with exception to “the talk” which HAS to happen for your “relationship” to be legit. He can be acting like your boyfriend, seeing you a few times a week, calling you every night, holding your hand in public, BUT, if you do not have “the talk”, he in his own mind can still think he is single and actually, based on the unspoken rules of dating, technically has the right to still be seeing other people. Most men try to put off having “the talk” for as long as possible. Here’s a hint: Stay away from men who are initiating “the talk”, especially if it’s within a couple of weeks of meeting you.
