I thought I would share my tips and techniques for turning up the heat and "melting" the ice on a first date.

Cut To The Chase

As a single New Yorker, life is too short for there to be taboo "first-date" subjects. I say put it all out there so as not to waste time. You want passion in your relationship? Talk about topics of substance. Politics, religion, sexual preferences, everything you were always told NOT to talk about on a first date are the conversations which will really enable you to see if you're going to be compatible with and potentially connect with a person in the long run. Why wait till the third or fourth date to find out that you don't see eye to eye on major, "deal-breaker" topics?


Don't be afraid to share something about yourself.

Share Dating "War Stories"

On a first date, you don't necessarily want to dive into your recent divorce or how your college sweetheart broke your heart, now causing you to seek professional help. However, relating on a "single in the city" level is definitely a good thing. If you two met online, ask what his or her worst online date was. I'm sure you have had your share as well. This will be an entertaining topic that you both will be able to relate to. It will also provide major insight into your date, empowering you with the knowledge not to make the same "bad date" mistakes. For example she shares with you how the guy she went out with was such a horrible tipper that the owner of the restaurant came over and made a scene. Perhaps with this knowledge you'll go ahead and leave 20% to make a good impression rather than the standard 15%.

Be Bold

Technology and the Internet have empowered singles to date 24/7. How do you stand out and become more than just another first- and last-date statistic? Rather than sticking to the basic, run-of-the-mill "where are you from," "what do you do," "where do you live" line of questioning that the majority of first dates entail, mix it up. Find out his/her celebrity crush, if they could only eat at one restaurant for the rest of their life what would it be, what would they or wouldn't they do for a million dollars? This line of questioning is open-ended, fun, flirty and most importantly will allow you to gain more depth and understanding of your date.

Play Games

If your date is a big movie buff, or geography guru, rather than just talking about the subject, turn it into a game. For example, "Do you like movies?" Have you ever played the movie game?" Pick an actor/actress and go back and forth naming their movies until one of you can't come up with one. Whoever lasts the longest wins and gets a massage or have the loser pick up the next round of drinks. A little competition is healthy for a relationship, especially a new one. It will help you gauge how smart, creative, competitive, collaborative and most importantly, what type of winner/loser your date is. It also creates the good type of "sexual tension" that will secure you a second date.