I hate to be so pissy on the start of a new year but as 2014 was pretty hectic for curlies, coilies and wavies, it is time to set the record straight on a few things. Curly hair is beautiful hair. Coily hair is beautiful hair. So is wavy and kinky and even nappy if you choose to use that word. I know that words are painful as well as uplifting but in 2014 we had a few tense moments…oh, who am I kidding…
We had some disastrous moments for natural-haired women.
From the Army dissing natural hairstyles with new hair regulations to the schools finding our hair distracting--you name it, we saw it, heard it or felt it in 2014. While each instance had its own singular negative core, there was a commonality among all…our natural hair was being judged and judged harshly. In my world of natural hair I am constantly surrounded by women of all races enjoying the natural hair that has been growing out of their head since birth. It has been a revolution from chemical bondage whether relaxing one’s hair or just covering up their grays.
More women are embracing their naturalness (I love that word) and that is mostly all I see, hear, breath or relate to. Sometimes I have to remind myself that is not the ‘real’ world for many women who find themselves alone and confronted with family, friends, and even co-workers who demean their choice to go natural.
When do I get the wakeup call?
Too often it is on a forum or group when a woman is being considered for a job but told in the interview that her natural hair was a distraction or not professional enough for that environment and is she willing to change it.
Oh yes, this is still occurring and as recently as last month a woman in a natural hair group on Facebook was wondering what she should do about her dilemma. I was shocked and appalled and finally just downright irritated that we as women have to still feel the need or be told to alter ourselves for acceptance. Nevertheless, this brings me to the point of this rant. I am about tired of this negativity shroud that has been looming over the heads of natural haired women. This…judgment if you will that others feel more than comfortable to force upon us on what they deem acceptable on our person.
So I am asking that we as a group of, (oh let’s just call ourselves humans shall we?) make 2015 the year for dropping the judgments, negativity, and hate on natural hair.
Now, I could start a petition on Change.org and it might even become popular or even get thousands of signatures but honestly, who would we be directing our anger or need for change to? Society as a whole? Of course the vast majority of the signatures would be from naturals and maybe that would even be enough for a grand statement that gains support but in the ‘real’ world again, does that woman who is being harassed at work or at home… is that petition really going to reach and save her from her private natural hair hell?
I hate to give the impression of failure before I even get something started but being the devil’s advocate oftentimes gives me the clarity to figure out what needs to be done. I know what needs to happen but I am perplexed on how to actually make it happen.
A new year should require a new attitude and for 2015 we need more people to mind their own businesses when it comes to others and their hair. More folks need to mind their own business on the regular but I do not have enough time to get all into that and sometimes I can get lost in the rabbit hole of rights.
The bottom line is, less judging and more accepting for 2015.
If I want to rock an undefined fro then let me and keep your frown, snarls or outbursts to yourself. If I want to dye my coils teal then look the other way and remember you can do it too, if you wanted to. If you want to hire me then my skills will outweigh my hair and actually are you hiring my hair or my brain?
I just want to be left alone and so does my hair so before you utter one word of judgment against me or another natural (especially if you are one of us) remember you want to be left alone on your natural hair journey to do as you please as well. I am really looking forward to more acceptance or even indifference but refusing to acknowledge any judgments. I just got too much goodness going on and my fro is way too fierce for that nonsense!
Rock you and I’ll rock me and let 2015 be all about loving oneself and appreciating others. Now who's with me here?