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There are a lot of factors that determine whether or not a relationship will work. There are a number of things like compatibility, communication skills and life goals that make the difference between a fling and a life partner. Of course, once the broom has been jumped and the wedding bliss has worn off, there are other issues that can arise that may threaten your romantic career.

But imagine for a moment that things in your marriage are going along smoothly. The babies are taken care of, the house is in good shape and the bills are paid. What could possibly break up such a fateful and joyous union?

Could it be your curly hair?

What a Man Wants

Earlier this year, BeyondBlackWhite.com featured an article from a woman who shared her experience of being looked over by black men because of her full afro. Essence.com ran a poll of men’s preferences, showcasing a range of aesthetic likes and dislikes. The poll revealed that some men want long hair, some men want straight hair, some men love curly hair and some men honestly don't care.

However confusing these conflicting preferences are, it does leave many questions unanswered and raises a number of issues regarding a woman's right to look however she wants, and fails to get to the bottom of men's buried emotions towards women with natural hair.

It's Me or the Hair

CurlyNikki recently shared a painful story about a woman who found the future of her marriage in jeopardy based on her decision to wear her hair natural. Although her husband agreed that she had more to offer to the relationship than her hair, and that their daughter's naturally curly hair was “beautiful,” he still felt his pregnant wife's “nappy” hair was unattractive.

For better or for worse, she agreed to wear more straight hairstyles, allowing the couple to reach a boggling agreement that insured that his happiness and comfort would not be compromised by her appearance. Of course, what followed this courageous confession was a hailstorm of angry, confused, offended and empathetic comments by users who could barely stand the audacity of a man’s ultimatum towards his pregnant wife. But is this an isolated situation, or can having curly hair really be a deciding factor in whether or not a marriage can stand the test of time?

A quick Internet search provides an almost bipolar range of results about how men respond to women who embrace their natural hair texture and choose to skip chemical treatments in search of perfectly straight hair. It seems that men who like natural hair are really into it, and for the ones that aren't? Well, it might cost you your relationship.

Want More?

Follow Teri's online dating experience, with two separate straight and curly-haired accounts! Get the real dish on if men prefer curly or straight hair!

Final Thoughts

As more and more women take the plunge into rejecting the social conformity that pressures them to alter their natural appearances, many are wondering if the issues surrounding their hair are deeper than just the need for straight hair.

What do you think the real issue is?

 

0 Comments
he doesn't compliment me anymore. That hurts just as much.
I know my boyfriend is trying to be supportive of my decision to be natural. His way of supporting me is keeping his opinion about my hair to himself. (he prefers long, straight hair) He thinks I don't notice that
I have been natural for most of my life except my mother did not know how to style my hair at its kinky stage but pressed it (or hot comb it) instead. Looking at my pics from when I was younger until now, I would say that my hair was really long and started breaking off and losing leghth around the time my mother started pressing my hair more often. When I met my husband ( who is hispanic... this gets important), I was still at my natural state but had individual braids in all the time. It was around the time I turned 18 I went over to a cousins house with my afro and my (now) in-laws saw it driving by and made fun of me for it. Thats when I decided to put in relaxers ( also I was under the impression that my hair would be easier to maintain). After realizing that I had to put in more work in my hair whiles it was relaxed, I thought long and hard about transitioning. But instead, five years later, I just did the Big Chop because at the end of the day, I liked my hair when it was natural before I was made fun of and now I really just do not care what others think about me or my hair. My husband loves my hair even more so than he did post BC and he his supporting me 100%. I did not chop off all my hair because I thought it was trendy, I relaxed it because of that. So if your man wants to leave you because of your hair, let him because if that the reason for leaving anyone then he was not meant for you.
When I first met my husband I had a fade. I had men asking me who I got my waves. My husband kept see pictures of me with long hair and ask if I would consider growing it out. I told him I would only if he paid for it to be done. He did. As time went on and my hair got longer my husband came to see I really did not like dealing with my hair. When I started going natural and he seen how much it makes my like easier and also seen the beauty in me as a natural women he never said another word about me getting a perm again. He loves my hair. He really love playing in my curls. So everyone is happy. Oh by the way when I first got my hair all cut off the men in the barber shop all most had heart attacks. Spewing the crap about a women's hair is her crown and glory. I told the barber to sweep up my hair and put it in a bag so these fools could run there fingers through it. Men are a trip. LOL
That's actually funny that you say that Jessi77, because my white (now, ex) boyfriend told me my hair was ugly. I've been natural for about 7 months now and at the very beginning, he loved it, mostly because I didn't care if he played in it because it wasn't going to mess it up . Well, a couple of weeks ago, he noticed that it got longer/bigger, and when I asked him if he liked it, he frowned his face up . So, yknow.
I think that if a guy doesn't like a girl's natural hair, he doesn't truly like her for her, and when he's rejecting her natural hair, he's rejecting her too because natural hair is apart of us, just my opinion
This may be a little off topic, but almost every white guy I know would Looove to be with or is at least very attracted to black women. They don't care much about the hair, and even say they love curls! I do get a tiny pang of jealousy, as a white woman(even though im married!) when I hear all my male freinds say how beautiful blck women are, and their eyes light up! Also, lots of white women I know (myself included)admire the beauty of black women. So if your boyfreind doesn't like your natural hair, I'm sure I could set you up with plenty of guys who do! ;)
My natural draws me a lot of attention most of it positive and from guys. Perhaps its because I'm young (only 19) and didn't grow up with an extreme prejudice to natural hair. I love my hair and most guys that hit on me seem to find it sexy. But, I digress, that's my personal experience on a college campus.
When I wear my hair natural less black guys look at me none have attempted to hit on me but once I flat iron get a guy saying Ayy Gurl...I think a guy should like natural beauty and accept it.
If her husband really loved/care for her he wouldn't have given her an ultimatum. He need to be thankful that this didn't blow up in his face. but if it was the other way around he wouldn't have taken her ultimatum.
On the contrarie I would say...mine got better :) I used to straighten my hair for the same reasons as everyone does, when a kid it was to fit in, when a teenager it was to get dates and feel prettier, when as an working adult to spend less time with my hair routine. Then I feel in love with and married a man who loves me unconditionally and my curly hair the most, so he asked if I would use it curly and i said yes, only if he would keep his grey hair as well...and so we did :) If you marry someone you are in love with and respect you will always compromisse even with your prejudices and fears, because in the end everybody wins.
What if he were bald and she gave him an ultimatum to get hair plugs? It's the same with a guy who has a 40 lb gut and he tells his wife to lose weight. My dad was right when he said once they start picking they will find something else. She straightens her hair first, then he wants her to lose weight. Face it he is a jerk!
i feel that no matter if the person looks different u should love them for whats on the inside. what if (GOD forbid of course) the wife contracted an illness where she lost all her hair would he still give her the ultimatum. i mean its just hair and as her husband he should love her regardless. if he changed i bet he wouldn't want her to leave him.. my hubby loves my hair as much as i do. i just hope that her husband realizes that her natural hair is who she truly is and if he cannot accept that then he doesn't truly love her unconditionally(it may seem harsh but its the truth
i love my natural hair too much . people had to get used to it.3 years later and sometimes i feel my hair(wash and goes)are almost erotic for men.if u dont like my hair its your problem not mine. so kim

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