One Nap at a Time

This column is dedicated to permaholics who are struggling to make a transition to nappiness. To help make your journey easier, I have created a 12-Strand Recovery Program for you. It is designed to help you reach your natural destination one nap at a time.

My recovery program is much like the 12-Step Program of Alcoholics Anonymous. I just napped it up a bit. The complete 12-Strand Recovery Program appears in my book: “Nappyisms: Affirmations for Nappy-Headed People and Wannabes!” But I’m not going to wait until you get my book to get what you need. I’m going to get you started by giving you two of the most important steps -- I mean “strands” -- of recovery that are in my program. They are the ones that require you to do some serious soul searching and repenting for your misdeeds while afflicted. Those of you who have spent time in AA sessions are familiar with Steps 7 and 8 of the Recovery Program, which call for you to make a list of the people you have harmed due to your condition, and to make amends.

In my perm recovery program, ‘Strands’ 7 and 8 call for you to make a list of all the nappy-headed people you have harmed or offended while living a permed life. To them, you must make amends.

You can do it. Do any of you want to apologize to your daughters for perming their hair while they were mere toddlers? Have any of you broken up with your boyfriend because he started wearing locks? Now’s the time to make things right. Some of you may want to apologize to your own hair for addicting it to chemical relaxers—also known as ‘creamy crack’.

When I was in recovery (yes, it’s true), I dropped to my knees and begged my hair to forgive me for texturizing and ‘activating’ it during an unenlightened period in my life. Now I feel whole.

Now is your chance to cleanse your perm-challenged soul. Make that list of nappy-headed friends and loved ones. Call their names! Own up to your misdeeds and ‘short- combings’ and ask for forgiveness. Send your apologies to me and I’ll print some in a future column. Trust me. You will feel better. Relaxer release can be a very cathartic experience.