Do you wish that your hair was different?

Do you often look at images or videos of women with natural hair different from your own and feel envious of their hair?

When you wear your natural hair for the first time, your initial experiences can be frustrating, because learning how to care for and style your natural hair can be overwhelming in the beginning.

It is at this point, when you see women with hair “different” from your own, that you imagine that their hair care must be easier and you wish that you can have their hair. At first this thought process starts as simple hair crushes, but then sometimes they can turn into hair anxiety where you begin to dislike your own hair because you feel it does not love you back.

You start to tell yourself that your hair is not defined enough.

Your hair is not shiny enough.

Your hair shrinks way too much.

As a result you seek out products and methods to get your hair to look like all those hair crushes you lust after, but become upset when these products and methods do not fulfill their promise. But by doing this you are going against the original reason you have curly hair in the first place - you wanted to wear "your" natural hair. I am here to tell you that your hair is not “less than”, and while your hair may seem that it is not loving you back now - it will get to a point where your hair thrives.

When you find yourself spending time envious of other peoples hair it is like sipping a green eyed cocktail, the more and more your drink the bigger the headache will be the next day. Once you let go of all the angst you have about your hair you will begin to feel a weight lift off of you, and that is when your hair will flourish.

Now let’s put down the green eyed cocktail and look at six steps that will help you begin to accept your hair. Some of these actions will require you to step out of your comfort zone but they will leave you, and your hair, feeling more empowered.

  • Find your hair community: Whether it be on Facebook or in the forums of Naturally Curly, seek out a community of women with similar length and texture as your own.
  • Search for new hair crushes: Take the Naturally Curly Texture Typing Quiz for hair types and using your hair type as a search term, Google women with that texture.
  • Show off your beautiful hair: Take a selfie of your hair every day for a week or a month and post them to your favorite social media platform.
  • Try simple hairstyles: If styling your hair is the reason for disliking your hair search on Youtube for simple styles to save yourself time (Check out 3 simple styles we teach at Curly Hair School)
  • Beat Dry Hair: Many women say that frequently dry hair is the reason for their hair woes so try understanding your hair’s porosity or taking Curly Hair School’s Dry Hair Remedies Course to learn how to get moisturized hair
  • Write a love letter to your hair: Write down 5 reasons why you love your hair and share it with the world.

As soon as you accept your hair for how beautiful it is you will begin to see how beautiful your hair really is as well. In the comments, share one of the five things that you love about your hair and if you are willing to share your story or thoughts on hair acceptance, we would love to hear it.


Kimika Hudson is the founder of curlyhairschool, a platform that helps women with kinky curly hair find the right tools and methods for their individual hair needs through online hair courses.