Harsh but true…You may have had “the talk”, and even be saying the “L” word, but here’s a MAJOR indicator that he’s still NOT really your boyfriend. If your “boyfriend” won’t change his Facebook status to say “in a relationship” with you, then despite having had “the talk,” he is clearly still not willing to fully commit and is probably seeing people behind your back or at least wanting to have the option to do so in the event he’s contacted by an “ex,” or as SO many men endearingly refer to me, “unfinished business”. If you’re in this situation I would quickly in your mind downgrade this man to someone you’re “seeing” while immediately hitting singles events and girlfriend supported outings to begin the search for an upgrade.
FYI ladies…”Text message” relationships are “textbook” he’s just not “into” you. But that’s okay…maybe we’re not all that “into” them either. As soon as a relationship starts to look like or full-on become of the “text message” variety, I quickly demote that guy from someone I’m “dating” to someone I’m “seeing”. Don’t get me wrong, “text message” relationships can be a nice distraction and keep us going during dreaded “dating” droughts. I for one survived ten years in “Corporate America” largely due to some great text message exchanges that got me through PLENTY a boring meeting, conference call and 3-day seminar. Again, they’re fine, but don’t make the mistake of thinking it’s more than it is and just know that like a “text”, these types of relationships tend to be short-lived and EASILY deleted…except for the private, naughty pics that these guys will probably save on their phones FOREVER so they can continue to show them to their friends and anyone else that will look.
Here’s my dating advice. With all of the ‘smoke and mirrors’ that men put out, it’s hard to say if we’re ever seeing things clearly. Our “relationship” labels may at times be off or greatly vary, but at the end of the day I truly believe that knowing is half the battle. The quicker you can see things for what they are, the less likely you are to be disappointed, hurt or wasting valuable time. I tell all of my gfs and female matchmaking clients, be aware of your male surroundings at all times and always try to know where you stand. If you’re too emotionally involved to assess, have an honest girlfriend put a label on it for you.
