Yes, before I decided to embark on a natural hair journey, I consulted my boyfriend. Not because I needed his permission or his validation, but because as an equal partner in this relationship, his voice mattered. When he and I met, and for the first year and a half of our relationship, my hair was straight. The transition to natural would mean that particular sleek, straight hair aesthetic that was a constant would now emerge at points few and far between. We talked, and I explained why I needed to do this to restore the health of my hair. His response was about as much as I could expect from him on the matter: I support you because that’s what you want, but I don’t really care that much. If that’s what you want to do, do it.
Thankfully, my transition to natural hair wasn’t complicated by disgruntled feelings of a significant other who preferred straight hair. My heart goes out to the ladies currently embroiled in those struggles. Even though his opinions lacked a flair for the dramatic, he and I both agreed that communicating around me going natural was necessary and healthy for our relationship.
As far as my relationship is concerned, communication is important. Knowing how to support each other, and navigate through sometimes difficult and complicated emotional terrain is essential. Did I expect Samuel to understand how much I value my hair, and how important it was for me to embark on a journey to restore health, and by extension, self acceptance? No. For him, my hair was just a pretty accessory and something nice to look at. But we talked about it anyway.
